When I was around 8 years old, we lived in the country. We rode the bus to and from school. Us old people like to say, “When I was a kid, we walked up hill, both ways to school…in a blizzard.” It wasn’t quite that bad, but there were a few things that made getting to school, and then back home, (when I was a kid) more challenging than it is these days .

1-The bus stop was a mile from our home.

2-From kindergarten until 5th grade, girls weren’t allowed to wear pants to school. That is hard to believe now. I wore shorts under my dress, so I could play on the monkey bars, and sometimes I’d wear pants under my dress till I got to school then take them off.

3-When it snowed, it really snowed. It has changed, but we used to jump off our balcony into the snow that was not that far down. My legs would freeze on the way to the bus stop. Sometimes I had pants on, sometimes not.

4-Parents never worried about strangers stealing their kids, so none of the parents took their kids to school.

I have all kinds of stories about going to school and then coming home.

Let me tell you about the time there was a very big, scary, obstacle between the bus stop and home. Something that could prevent me from getting home, or so I thought. That big scary thing was also hairy. Our neighbors around the corner from our house had a dog…a St. Bernard. At one time, I felt pretty comfortable with the dog, until it bit me. It wasn’t a bad bite. It was more like a warning bite, that just meant don’t mess with me or I’ll eat you up. And for some reason, I didn’t tell anyone about it. But after that I was scared to death of the dog. This dog lived on the road I had to go on to get home; sometimes the dog was tied up, sometimes not. This was in the country, so I couldn’t just go an extra block and back track to make it home. On this one day, I just didn’t feel confident that I could make it past the house where the dog lived without having a problem. I decided that instead of going home the usual way, I would go behind the house where the dog lived and make my way through the field until I got past the house and then go back to the road. What a great idea, I thought. So I started around the back of the house, making sure not to get too close to the house in case the dog was out and he would see me. My main goal was to not have to pass the house on the road. Within a short time, I realized that the area behind their house was the biggest sticker patch you’ve ever seen.

On this day, I had worn my lace tights. They were my favorite.

When I finally made it past the house and back to the road, I realized my tights were ruined. I didn’t have a lot of nice things back then, so I was pretty devastated about the tights, but at least I was alive and didn’t get attacked.

I don’t know if my mom ever saw the ruined tights, because I hid them in the very back of a play cupboard that my grandpa had made me. If she saw them, she never said anything.

I’ve thought a lot about that experience, and how because I didn’t tell anyone about the dog, I faced it alone. I didn’t feel brave enough, or stupid enough, to go home the normal way, so I tried to make my way around the problem and ended up with another experience that I wasn’t very happy about either. What should I have done different? I know as a child I felt alone a lot. I actually was alone, a lot. I thought I had to work things out on my own. I should have told my parents about the dog bite. Then they could make sure the neighbor kept their dog tied up, or in the house. I must have told my parents about the dog after that experience, because I don’t remember worrying about him after that.

I wish I could tell that little girl a few things, like:

Don’t ever feel like you’re alone. There will always be someone to help.

Ask for help. And if you don’t get the help you need, ask someone else.

Be brave and go through the challenges you face. Don’t try to go around them. It may not help at all, and it may make things worse.

I’m grateful for all of the experiences I’ve had. I always learn something, and I think it helps me see it in others when they struggle. When I see it in others I can then tell them I understand. “You’re not alone”; “I’m here to help”; “You are very brave”; and “If you need help getting home, I’m here.”