Monthly Archives: February 2023

We’re All Influencers

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I had a conversation with my daughter Kelsey the other day about “Influencers” on social media. As we talked about how they seem to be quite confident in what they share and seem to believe. Some of the influencers are members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, the same church we belong to. These are good people, and they sometimes have a large following, but they’re views and what they do is not always the view of the church, exactly. They sometimes don’t follow all the teachings, completely. Some are even upset about something the church or its leaders have said, and they share that on their platform. I’m a believer in agency and the freedom to choose. I know others don’t always agree with what the church teaches, but when my daughter and I talked, we both agreed the best place to learn about The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is from an official representative, missionaries, leaders, and those who are called to share the true gospel teachings. If you got your feelings hurt, or an older mentor told you something and it’s not correct, you shouldn’t be sharing that information if it’s not true. That being said, you can’t change others.

The 6th question in the temple recommend interview is this:

  1. Do you follow the teachings of the Church of Jesus Christ in your private and public behavior with members of your family and others?

Russell M Nelson said, “Individual worthiness requires a total conversion of mind and heart to be more like the Lord.”

Are you an example? What about an Influencer? Influencer: one who exerts influence : a person who inspires or guides the actions of others.

Aren’t we all- Influencers? Whether we influence others to do what’s right or not.  

I want to tell you about two of the most Christlike influencers I know: My parents. My Daddy was not a member of the church until he was a 20 year old in the army, stationed at the Presidio in San Francisco. He joined the church, because he was influenced by another soldier who was a member and who gave him a copy of the Book of Mormon. My Mama grew up a member of the church in Salt Lake City, and was on an adventure working and living with girlfriends in San Francisco.  They met at church and shortly after fell in love. 

After marriage they moved to Utah. All the while living the gospel, and being amazing. They raised a big family by today’s standards, 6 kids. Five boys and one girl. That’s me. 

All parents know that the job is tough. We do our best, but we’re not perfect. My three older brothers struggled living what my parents taught, but were never left out or not included. The influence and love my parents showed was beautiful, and consistent.

I want to tell you about one brother, Keith. He was an alcoholic, a smoker, and a drug addict for most of his adult (young) life. He was finally jailed for a DUI, and would call my parents often begging through tears for them to come get him, all while the parent not talking to him would help the one talking to him be strong. “You need to be there”, they’d say. He was there for 5-6 months. While waiting for the court date, Dad wrote a letter to the judge asking to please be lenient with his ruling and let Keith be released with time served and come home. He could have gone to prison. Thankfully, he was released with an ankle bracelet and allowed to come home to my wonderful parents’ influence and love. FYI there isn’t alcohol, cigarettes or drugs at the county jail. He was clean the day he was released. Maybe seeing his life for the first time since his teen years, sober. The pull of my parents’ love would prove to be greater than the pull of his previous lifestyle. He was able to stay sober and became completely active in the church. He married in the temple, and served in whatever calling he was given. Guess what? He became a righteous influencer to all who knew his previous life. He became a positive influencer because my parents were a positive influence to him. One remaining challenge from using needles with drugs, he had contracted Hep C. His liver began to fail. We were so worried and sad. He had just cleaned up his life! But we all prayed for a miracle. It happened and through a very generous donation Keith received a liver from a donor who had died in a car crash. 

My parents provided Sunday Dinner every week for most of our adult lives for all the extended family. All were invited and most of the time everyone would come. On occasion my kids would  see one of my older brothers smoking out in front of the house. They knew it wasn’t a good thing, and they’d come tell me in a very worried voice. I’d say, “yes your uncle smokes, but that’s not who he is. We love him no matter what he does.” 

My parents went through so much worry with kids whose choices were not what they wanted for them, but their love for them was always greater.  

Even if we understand the idea that we should love people, we sometimes think we’re supposed to love them back onto our path instead of respecting their own journey. I’m not trying to love people into coming with me. I’m just loving people. No expectations, no transaction. They and God will figure out their journey; my job is to love them along the way. -Steve Young

Now, back to my brother Keith. He did great for a while, loving and serving and blessing lots of people, and living as a follower of Christ. He found out that he had throat cancer in 2019, then glioblastoma (brain cancer) in 2020, and passed away in January of 2021.  

I have lost all three of my older brothers, now. They all died young. Their choices and lifestyles quite possibly could have played a part in that. But they always knew they were loved and could receive help at any time from Mom and Dad. The lesson is this. Our job is not to judge. Our job is not to choose for another. Our job is to live the gospel of Jesus Christ in our homes and in our community and in the world. We are all influencers. Living the gospel is the right thing to do, and being a righteous influencer as a result of it is wonderful. I want my legacy to be that I loved everyone, and that I was an example of a believer. When you love, it doesn’t mean you agree, it means you honor their right to choose for themselves. It means we love our non-member or inactive neighbor. It means we continue in faith even when the world is in turmoil.

2 Nephi 31:19 …after ye have gotten into this strait and narrow apath, I would ask if all is bdone? 

20 Wherefore, ye must press forward with a asteadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of bhope, and a clove of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and dendure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eeternal life.  

Jesus said, “Love everyone, treat them kindly too. When your heart is filled with love… (you’ll feel good and true.)” I’m so thankful for the most wonderful influencers in my life, my parents. For their example and influence that has blessed me with the desire to “follow the teachings of The Church of Jesus Christ in my private and public behavior, with family and others.“

A Little Quirky

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We’re all human beings, and are mostly the same. Made in the image of God. We have eyes, ears, arms, legs, hair, mouths, etc. Because of DNA we all have familiar traits. Many times in life you can tell people from the same family because the look very similar.

In the family I grew up in we have funny little pinky toes. They’re short and bend toward the big toe, over the toe next to it. It is very obvious in most of us kids. My dad and all the brothers except two have what my dad calls fringe. Bald on top with hair on the sides and back. There’s an old wives tale that says the men/sons go bald if the mother’s father is bald. My Mama’s dad had a full head of hair when he died. So I don’t think that’s true.

In our family, we have two girls and two boys. We hear from many people that our girls look exactly like each other. Some people can’t tell them apart. That is a surprise to me, because I don’t think they look alike much at all. The boys are very different Riley has dark brown hair, and Alex has blonde hair, although the older he gets the darker his hair has gotten. People have said they look alike. Really?

One of the things I would say is a trait that has carried down to our kids, and grandkids is curly hair. Not everyone has it, but some do and I did and do. My maternal grandma and my Mama both had wavy/curly hair. I have always had curly hair. Riley has curly hair. His kids have curly hair. Although his sweet wife Janet has curly hair too. So they get it from both parents. Emily, our Bonus Baby has a sweet little one with really curly hair.

Joy
Grandbaby Monroe

One other physical trait that I think I have from my grandma is short and fluffy. I may not be super fond of the fluffy part, but I have learned to love me, all of me, and I do.

I think physical traits that repeat through the generations are neat! It is one of the many things that bonds us to each other even if they’re a little quirky.

We’re made in the image of God and each other.

Sometimes Timing is Everything

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When Flexy (Alex) was a teenager he was just a little guy. That’s not a huge surprise, because his Dad is a little guy, but the generation before my darlin aren’t so little. His Dad is quite tall and so are some of his siblings. So back to Flexy, we became concerned enough with his size that we took him to a specialist. An Endocrinologist had made arrangements for a home care nurse to come to our house in the late evening to draw blood to check his growth hormone. It’s true when they say you grow at night. Your growth hormone peaks at night so he came at around 9-10:00 pm. He put a port in Alex’s arm so he could draw blood about every 20 minutes or so for a while. I remember him being there for at least an hour. Each time after drawing blood he’d sit at the kitchen table working and waiting for the next draw.

Earlier in that same evening Kelsey was doing homework at the kitchen table and for the last little bit my Mama was sitting at the table helping her. We had Alex sleeping in the room closest the kitchen so it was an easy distance for the nurse.

After the home care nurse left we quickly got ready for bed. Kelsey was close enough to the kitchen table to see a scary thing happen and what could have been a been a tragedy. The dome light above the kitchen table fell hitting the table and shattering in all directions. It was a fairly large dome light and had facets so that the glass just flew everywhere. It left a dent in the table where it fell that is still there today. It took quite some time to clean it up and my memory tells me we found a piece of glass here and there for days and maybe even months after.

The timing of it is the amazing part. If it had happened any earlier it would have been a really bad accident. The home care nurse was sitting inches from where the light landed. Kelsey and my Mama were close too. The timing was everything. I am so grateful that the dome light held on till just the right time. No one was hurt. It was a mess, but cleaned up well.

Was Father in Heaven helping? Was our Guardian Angel holding it in place till it could fall without hurting anyone? We may never know, but I know that we are protected in this earth experience and I am so grateful.