I have heard a few stories lately about teenagers who have committed suicide after being bullied by other teenagers.

This breaks my heart.

I don’t know the details of these young people’s lives. Did they have loving families, who tell each other all the time how important and loved they are?

Do they have a grandma’s or grandpa’s who they visit often who support and love them?

Do they know the history of their family?

Do they know of the many family members who came before them who struggled with life, and were challenged by all kinds of difficult experiences and made it through.

Do they come from a family who believes that we are all here for a reason?

Do these young people tell their family that they are being bullied?

I feel so sad for the families left behind after they are gone. I’m sure they wonder, “What could we have done to prevent this from happening?”

The reason why I wonder about all of these things is because I had a very difficult time as a teenager. I would say that I was bullied, although they didn’t call it that back then. Thankfully we didn’t have the internet back then and thankfully I couldn’t receive text messages from someone who wanted to hurt me, or try to tell me hateful things.

I will say that that time in my life was probably the most difficult because I wasn’t just dealing with the bullying. This difficult time lasted for years. I can honestly say that I’m am grateful for the things I learned during that time, but I can see how someone could feel hopeless and alone, and that no one will care if I’m not here anymore.

As I think about these teenagers who ended their lives, I think to myself, “How did I make it through? And how could they make it through this time and come out emotionally healthy and happy?”

The first thought that crossed my mind was “Family History”. I know that some people would say that is completely silly, but there is good reason for me thinking that. If these kids don’t have good family relationships right now, with their parents, siblings, or grandparents, but they knew something about those who are part of their family that have past on. That they had a really hard life, and things got better. Wouldn’t that help?

Of course as I write this, and then proof read it I know it’s not that simple. I do know that knowing about them helps us to feel that we belong to something bigger. I believe they are aware of us and hoping for our success in this life experience.

-The wife of Dr Marshall Duke of Emory University, told him of an experience she had while working with children with learning disabilities. “The ones who knew a lot about their families tended to do better when they faced challenges.” Dr. Duke developed, “Do you know?” 20 questions such as: Do you know where your parents were born? Do you know how they met? Do you know where your grandparents were married? Do you know the story of your birth? Do you know of a sad thing happening in your family? Do you know what made your mom happy?

The more the children knew, the stronger their sense of self-control, the higher their self esteem and success. Did you learn it from your family? The results turned out to be the single best predictor of health and happiness. –

I found a great quote about this:

“The single most important thing you can do for your family may be the simplest of all: develop a strong family narrative. Children who know a lot about their families tend to do better when they face challenges as they have a sense of being part of a larger family.”-Bruce Feiler, Family History Researcher.

Knowing we belong to something bigger than ourselves makes a difference and family stories do just that. –Source

I wish I could tell these teenagers how much I love them. I wish they knew how many loved ones they have pulling for them, from the other side. I believe this with all my heart.

Teach your children how much they are loved, and that they can go through hard things because the people who love them have been through hard things and made it through!

Happy Family History Friday! Love, Joy