Category Archives: Brothers

We’re All Influencers

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I had a conversation with my daughter Kelsey the other day about “Influencers” on social media. As we talked about how they seem to be quite confident in what they share and seem to believe. Some of the influencers are members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, the same church we belong to. These are good people, and they sometimes have a large following, but they’re views and what they do is not always the view of the church, exactly. They sometimes don’t follow all the teachings, completely. Some are even upset about something the church or its leaders have said, and they share that on their platform. I’m a believer in agency and the freedom to choose. I know others don’t always agree with what the church teaches, but when my daughter and I talked, we both agreed the best place to learn about The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is from an official representative, missionaries, leaders, and those who are called to share the true gospel teachings. If you got your feelings hurt, or an older mentor told you something and it’s not correct, you shouldn’t be sharing that information if it’s not true. That being said, you can’t change others.

The 6th question in the temple recommend interview is this:

  1. Do you follow the teachings of the Church of Jesus Christ in your private and public behavior with members of your family and others?

Russell M Nelson said, “Individual worthiness requires a total conversion of mind and heart to be more like the Lord.”

Are you an example? What about an Influencer? Influencer: one who exerts influence : a person who inspires or guides the actions of others.

Aren’t we all- Influencers? Whether we influence others to do what’s right or not.  

I want to tell you about two of the most Christlike influencers I know: My parents. My Daddy was not a member of the church until he was a 20 year old in the army, stationed at the Presidio in San Francisco. He joined the church, because he was influenced by another soldier who was a member and who gave him a copy of the Book of Mormon. My Mama grew up a member of the church in Salt Lake City, and was on an adventure working and living with girlfriends in San Francisco.  They met at church and shortly after fell in love. 

After marriage they moved to Utah. All the while living the gospel, and being amazing. They raised a big family by today’s standards, 6 kids. Five boys and one girl. That’s me. 

All parents know that the job is tough. We do our best, but we’re not perfect. My three older brothers struggled living what my parents taught, but were never left out or not included. The influence and love my parents showed was beautiful, and consistent.

I want to tell you about one brother, Keith. He was an alcoholic, a smoker, and a drug addict for most of his adult (young) life. He was finally jailed for a DUI, and would call my parents often begging through tears for them to come get him, all while the parent not talking to him would help the one talking to him be strong. “You need to be there”, they’d say. He was there for 5-6 months. While waiting for the court date, Dad wrote a letter to the judge asking to please be lenient with his ruling and let Keith be released with time served and come home. He could have gone to prison. Thankfully, he was released with an ankle bracelet and allowed to come home to my wonderful parents’ influence and love. FYI there isn’t alcohol, cigarettes or drugs at the county jail. He was clean the day he was released. Maybe seeing his life for the first time since his teen years, sober. The pull of my parents’ love would prove to be greater than the pull of his previous lifestyle. He was able to stay sober and became completely active in the church. He married in the temple, and served in whatever calling he was given. Guess what? He became a righteous influencer to all who knew his previous life. He became a positive influencer because my parents were a positive influence to him. One remaining challenge from using needles with drugs, he had contracted Hep C. His liver began to fail. We were so worried and sad. He had just cleaned up his life! But we all prayed for a miracle. It happened and through a very generous donation Keith received a liver from a donor who had died in a car crash. 

My parents provided Sunday Dinner every week for most of our adult lives for all the extended family. All were invited and most of the time everyone would come. On occasion my kids would  see one of my older brothers smoking out in front of the house. They knew it wasn’t a good thing, and they’d come tell me in a very worried voice. I’d say, “yes your uncle smokes, but that’s not who he is. We love him no matter what he does.” 

My parents went through so much worry with kids whose choices were not what they wanted for them, but their love for them was always greater.  

Even if we understand the idea that we should love people, we sometimes think we’re supposed to love them back onto our path instead of respecting their own journey. I’m not trying to love people into coming with me. I’m just loving people. No expectations, no transaction. They and God will figure out their journey; my job is to love them along the way. -Steve Young

Now, back to my brother Keith. He did great for a while, loving and serving and blessing lots of people, and living as a follower of Christ. He found out that he had throat cancer in 2019, then glioblastoma (brain cancer) in 2020, and passed away in January of 2021.  

I have lost all three of my older brothers, now. They all died young. Their choices and lifestyles quite possibly could have played a part in that. But they always knew they were loved and could receive help at any time from Mom and Dad. The lesson is this. Our job is not to judge. Our job is not to choose for another. Our job is to live the gospel of Jesus Christ in our homes and in our community and in the world. We are all influencers. Living the gospel is the right thing to do, and being a righteous influencer as a result of it is wonderful. I want my legacy to be that I loved everyone, and that I was an example of a believer. When you love, it doesn’t mean you agree, it means you honor their right to choose for themselves. It means we love our non-member or inactive neighbor. It means we continue in faith even when the world is in turmoil.

2 Nephi 31:19 …after ye have gotten into this strait and narrow apath, I would ask if all is bdone? 

20 Wherefore, ye must press forward with a asteadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of bhope, and a clove of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and dendure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eeternal life.  

Jesus said, “Love everyone, treat them kindly too. When your heart is filled with love… (you’ll feel good and true.)” I’m so thankful for the most wonderful influencers in my life, my parents. For their example and influence that has blessed me with the desire to “follow the teachings of The Church of Jesus Christ in my private and public behavior, with family and others.“

A Little Quirky

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We’re all human beings, and are mostly the same. Made in the image of God. We have eyes, ears, arms, legs, hair, mouths, etc. Because of DNA we all have familiar traits. Many times in life you can tell people from the same family because the look very similar.

In the family I grew up in we have funny little pinky toes. They’re short and bend toward the big toe, over the toe next to it. It is very obvious in most of us kids. My dad and all the brothers except two have what my dad calls fringe. Bald on top with hair on the sides and back. There’s an old wives tale that says the men/sons go bald if the mother’s father is bald. My Mama’s dad had a full head of hair when he died. So I don’t think that’s true.

In our family, we have two girls and two boys. We hear from many people that our girls look exactly like each other. Some people can’t tell them apart. That is a surprise to me, because I don’t think they look alike much at all. The boys are very different Riley has dark brown hair, and Alex has blonde hair, although the older he gets the darker his hair has gotten. People have said they look alike. Really?

One of the things I would say is a trait that has carried down to our kids, and grandkids is curly hair. Not everyone has it, but some do and I did and do. My maternal grandma and my Mama both had wavy/curly hair. I have always had curly hair. Riley has curly hair. His kids have curly hair. Although his sweet wife Janet has curly hair too. So they get it from both parents. Emily, our Bonus Baby has a sweet little one with really curly hair.

Joy
Grandbaby Monroe

One other physical trait that I think I have from my grandma is short and fluffy. I may not be super fond of the fluffy part, but I have learned to love me, all of me, and I do.

I think physical traits that repeat through the generations are neat! It is one of the many things that bonds us to each other even if they’re a little quirky.

We’re made in the image of God and each other.

Birthdays, and Turning 60!

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Me in Kindergarten.

I love birthdays! I love all birthdays! I love sending cards and buying balloons and decorating cakes. I love giving gifts and watching the expression of the person opening the gift. I love celebrating my birthday as well.

I’m always happy I’ve had another year to get smarter and wiser and more appreciative of the blessings and people I am surrounded by. It’s like celebrating the fact that “I’m here!” I made it another trip around the sun! I’m doing my best at life and I love that God gave me a family and friends to help me while I’m here.

I’m sure that birthdays like life are what you make it!

When it’s my birthday I sometimes get worried because of expectations. Will the people I love remember? What is the celebration going to be like? I have learned that in order to not worry, I just tell everyone it’s coming and make a plan for what I want to do. Some of my favorite bdays were spent doing projects and organizing my home and life, but best of all is celebrating with family!

This year I’m turning 60. That is old!! I remember thinking 30 was old when I was a teenager. Now I’m twice as old -as old! I’m so happy to be here. It’s like going on a long trek, or hike. It feels so good that you are finished with the challenge, but you feel really sore. Yes when you get older things ache. I’m not going to die yet, so don’t worry about that, I’m just letting the reality of where I am sink in. I know there are people who run marathons, climb mountains, do iron man competitions at this age. Not me. I’m just moving along “slow and steady” like Alex taught me many years ago.

Waking up this morning I laid there thinking about turning 60, and where I am in life. I felt such an immense feeling of gratitude for the opportunity to live. Life is hard, but life is also such an amazing experience! My blessings and challenges are what has made me who I am.

I was blessed to be born into a family. My parents were and always have been loving, and kind. They have taught me to work, to set goals, to be the kind of person others can count on. Their example has been such a blessing, and I’m so grateful for them. My Daddy has passed on, but I’ve learned, and I believe he is close and still loving me. I know when I feel sad, it’s because I’m thinking about me. I am happy he is resting from his busy and hectic life. I will see him when it’s my time.

I grew up with 3 older brothers, Brian, Brad and Keith. They taught me to be tough. They weren’t always nice, so that taught me empathy. They made mistakes, and that taught me to love unconditionally. Sometimes I felt alone and unloved by them, but I learned to just keep trying to be a good little sister to them. I am a total fan of boys and men because of all my brothers fun and entertaining personalities. I know they know I love them. They have all passed to the other side. I miss them, but I know we’ll see each other again.

I have 2 little brothers. They taught me to have patience and think of others. I hope I wasn’t too mean to them. I was left in charge of them when our parents went on trips, We would go get fast food and eat Frosty’s. As adult they are very talented, and their knowledge and life choices are creative and inspiring. They are such a blessing to me. They are my very dear friends and I love spending time with them.

I am a Family History fan. Knowing where I came from is huge! I feel so blessed to know grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins and second cousins, etc. I have learned about the life of these people. What kind of sickness or sorrow was part of their existence. Did they have it easy? No, I believe it was harder. I admire and adore them. I believe that because they lived and rose from each challenge that I can too. How great is that? I can do hard things!

All my young life, I wanted to be loved by a sweetheart. A soul mate, and best friend. I wasn’t really sure it would happen, but it did. My Darlin is that sweetheart. I am so grateful for our marriage. My Darlin, is a loving and hard working man. I can count on him and I know he loves me. He has always put our family first. I wouldn’t trade our 36 + years togethers for anything. It hasn’t been perfect, but we’ve learned so much. We have learned how to sacrifice for our children and each other. We have learned what matters most in life and that is love, patience and kindness. We have always included God in our relationship. We pray daily thanking God for each other and asking His blessing upon our marriage. He has blessed us!

I’ve wanted to be a Mama since I played with my baby dolls as a child. I know I am so blessed to be a Mama. I have learned so much about life from my 4 children. They are each unique and amazing. They are all grown up and I feel a little sad about that, but what wonderful adults they have become. When I feel lonesome now and then, I remind myself that the amazing adults they are- is my best hopes and desires for them. We taught them to be responsible, we taught them to love, and share, and do good in the world. They are much better than I could ever imagined!! Because of their great choices they have wonderful sweethearts, too. Oh, do I ever feel so much love and admiration for the humans they grew up to be, and their wonderful choices!

“Grandchildren are your reward for not killing your kids.” I don’t know who said that, but it’s funny. The truth is Grandchildren are such a blessing because you’ve already been through raising your kids. You don’t have to worry about them, because that is their parents job. You get to hug them, and kiss them, and sugar them up, and send them home. They are like the cherry on top! The icing on the cake! Such a wonderful part of life, that’s grandparenthood. Sometimes grandparenthood isn’t what you thought it would be, but that’s ok too. You just do your best in every situation. Just love everyone! (and maybe try not to have expectations) I’m so grateful that my life includes grandkids!

“Make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver and the other is gold.” I haven’t always been a good friend. I have made others feel sad. I have had friends be unkind to me as well. I’ve learned that friendship is a treasure that is worth the effort. I know that friends are part of my life because God knew I needed them. Their example, the acceptance, the experiences we’ve shared. I love them so much!

Knowing about God, and Jesus is such a blessing. I wouldn’t have made it through life without them. I can’t forget the Spirit or Holy Ghost. When times are hard and I am sad. I know because of the peace I feel when I pray that God is aware of me and loves me. He will help me out of some situations and others He will hold my heart while We go through it together. I know He sent me to earth to have experiences and grow. I know he wants me back when I’m done.

I’m glad I’m 60 years old! I’m so blessed. I’m thankful for all of my life experiences the beautiful, wonderful experiences and the challenges. I wouldn’t go back. No regrets. I’m not going that way anyway. Like my “Most Quoted” said, “I’m trying really hard at life!” and I always will.

Sorrow

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It seems that sorrow is a big part of life these days. In the middle of the sorrow is incredible joy. In one of the first posts on this blog I talked about the brothers that I’ve been blessed with. If you’d like to read a little more about them click in the search window and type in “brothers”.

I am the only daughter and I have five brothers in the family I grew up in. I have wonderful parents who did a great job raising us to be good people. We are a typical family that has typical challenges. As my older brothers grew up they went down different paths. Each of us chose and our parents never stopped loving all of us or being proud of the amazing humans we became. I watched them choose their path and watched how some of their choices affected their lives, sometimes it was hard to watch. I still think the world of them. I learned so much from them.

My oldest brother Brian was 46 when he passed away, hiking with family on a trail in a nearby canyon. He had a heart attack and died on the trail. We were devastated and so sad to lose our son and brother at such a young age. But the tender mercies and spirit of God told us he is in a good place with loved ones. Free from some of the addictions of a mortal life. My sister-in-law calls death the “Ultimate Rehab.” Truth.

My second oldest brother Brad was 59 when he passed away from cancer. He was a very tender soul whose love for family was immense. To protect his tender soul he had built a wall almost impenetrable by most. He was a very responsible and hard working man. A great provider. I was able to talk to him two days before he was put on a ventilator and tell him I love him. That was a tender mercy. I know he is in a good place with loved ones including our brother Brian.

My wonderful, beloved Father passed away in August 2019. 85 years old, after having lived an amazing life. His passing was not a complete surprise, but nevertheless devastating. I miss him everyday. I will miss him until I get to be with him again. However looking at his life I’m so grateful for him, and for his example of service and love. He was a gentle, kind and loving soul. He was a powerful defender of our Savior and other prophets. His life is his legacy. It is epic. I know he is in a good place and with loved ones including our brothers Brian and Brad.

My third oldest brother Keith, and the one just 1 and 1/2 years older than me just passed away in January. He is my miracle brother. He chose a tough life for a while smoking, drinking, using drugs and missing out on all of the wonderful blessings of being a contributor to this world. After a short stint in jail, he cleaned himself up and came home. He was in his 30’s and back home with Mama and Daddy. Thankfully the judge in his case saw some potential. He changed his life. He quit his bad habits and started a righteous course. One lingering effect of drug use was that he contracted Hepatitis C from sharing needles. His liver was suffering and he needed a new one. Thankfully, because of his life changes he was a candidate for one. In July 2007 he received a donor liver from a wonderful young man who had died in a car crash, Nathan.

Life seemed to be going great minus the usual challenges until a year an a half ago when Keith found a lump in his neck. Cancer was found, surgery and a year spent trying natural remedies. I think we were all scared of the chemo and radiation that our brother Brad had been through. He seemed to be doing fine, for a year then he started having trouble with simple tasks. He couldn’t remember how to do up his pants, or how to use his phone. He had trouble driving. He got a really bad headache one day so his wife took him to the ER. Brain cancer was found. It was aggressive and would be terminal. He had it removed and started treatment…then hospice.

He lost some of the use of his left side, and would call me often to trim his nails. He was always wanting to get back to work. He called me the day before losing consciousness to drive him around looking for real estate opportunities. I would usually just talk him through it and say lets do that tomorrow or next week. Then the call, “Keith is having trouble breathing.” He died the next morning. Tender mercies: he was able to see many family member and was aware they were there and gave hugs to them, most often calling them by name before hugging them. He was optimistic to the end. He tried to get out of bed, I asked him, “Where are you going?” trying to hang onto him so he wouldn’t fall or leave the bed he was attached to and he said,
“I’m going to heaven!” One of his last wishes was to donate his body to science. He had a great love for the donor program. His wish happened shortly after he passed. He is my miracle brother, and I know he is in a good place and with loved ones including my brothers Brian, Brad, and my Daddy.

I have felt so much sorrow this last little while. I have felt peace. I know that Father in Heaven and our Savior are close and aware of our sorrows

From a beloved Hymn,

He answers privately, Reaches my reaching
In my Gethsemane, Savior and Friend.
Gentle the peace he finds for my beseeching.
Constant he is and kind, Love without end.

I love my brothers and my Daddy, and I find incredible joy in knowing I will see them again someday.

Families are Forever!

Worry, and Sadness.

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I’m so sorry I haven’t written a post for so long. Some people work through their feelings, by sharing them. I usually need time to process.

My dad had a heart valve replaced in February.

I consider myself a faithful person, but I know that even people who are faithful and trust in God still have to experience things that are hard. Things that they don’t want to have to go through. I worried and worried about my dad, and how his life, and our lives might change if the surgery didn’t go well. He made it through the surgery and is doing good. I am so grateful for that. Both of my parents are in their 80’s, so their health and well being is on my mind a lot.

————————————————————————

My brother was diagnosed with cancer in December.

It was a surprise and took it’s toll on my brothers body and was very upsetting and frustrating to our family. What is the diagnosis? What is the prognosis? What is the treatment? Prayers, and fasting, were an ongoing ritual for us. My brother received priesthood blessings and continued to fight, but it was not meant for him to stay.

He passed away on March 15th.

Our family is heart broken. He was such a wonderful soul. Such a hard working good man. He left us way to soon. He was 59 years old. He had so much life left to live, so many things left to do, and so much love to share. We will miss him so much.

I am still so sad. I have a strong testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ, of the Plan of Salvation, but this is the part I don’t like. I don’t like it when we have to be separated by death from those we love. I believe with all my heart that we will be with our brother, son, husband dad, and grandpa, Brad someday again. I will just miss him so much until that day. I am so grateful that part of our Heavenly Father’s plan is that we come to earth as part of a family. I feel so blessed to grow up in the family that my brothers are a part of, with our wonderful parents. They are the ones I was supposed to be with while learning some of my life lesson’s. I will always be thankful for that, but I don’t want to be without them for the rest of my life. Now I have lost two of my brothers.

I am thankful for the opportunity to have this earthly experience. To grow up in a family with wonderful parents. It’s just hard when our family changes because someone has passed on.

“We cannot fully appreciate joyful reunions later without tearful separations now. The only way to take sorrow out of death is to take love out of life.” Russell M Nelson

Eight is Great!

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Today it has been eight years since I started my blog. 

As I read through the blog, I am so happy that I have been able to share these stories and experiences with everyone!

I am so thankful that I have written them down.

They are a treasure to me.

My life and all that I have experienced is wonderful. Even the challenges have taught me so much. Some of the best things I’ve learned in the last eight years are:

1-Family is everything. I can’t imagine my life with out my family. Both the one I grew up in and the one I have with my Darlin. I feel blessed to have a sweet husband, wonderful children, and I am in love with my beautiful grandchildren. I’m thankful I have a blog full of memories of my family.

2-A knowledge of God and my Savior, Jesus Christ is a blessing in my life everyday. The gospel gives me direction, and hope for my life. 

3-I am so thankful for my ancestors. The family who came before me, and who paved the way so that life would be better for me. They left homes they knew, for the unknown. They gave up comfort for the challenge of a journey to a new life. I can’t imagine what they went through, but I am so thankful. I love them!

4-Grandbabies are the best!!! I am completely in love with them! They are my reward for not killing my kids. Haha. But seriously, how wonderful it is to have these sweet little people who I get to love, and spoil, and then send them home. It is the best!

Thank you for your visit to my blog!

I love to have you come. 

Brothers: He Would be 60 Years Old Today!

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I have five wonderful brothers. Three older brothers, and two younger brothers. I love them so much!

Something changed 13 years ago in our family, with one of my five wonderful brothers.

My oldest brother Brian passed away.

He was 46. It was such a shock, so unexpected. Some of the members of my family were hiking a beautiful canyon not far from home, when he fell on the trail. He was gone. We had many tender mercies during the next week. He is buried where my parents will be buried. He was a good man with challenges like the rest of us. 

Today he would have been 60 years old! 

What would things be like if he was still here? I wonder. I believe he is happy and doing good where he is now. I am thankful for his life! I miss him. 

I thought about his life today, and what it meant to me to know him, love him, and to know that I will see him again.

We had a family party tonight. We looked through his childhood scrapbook made by our mama. He lived a good, productive life. He is the father of three kids. The Grandpa to 6 grandkids, 5 he has never met.

The most important thing to me when I think about losing him so young is knowing that our Savior makes up for all sadness, all sin, all mistakes. He makes my brother’s life, and all of our lives, more meaningful than it would be without Him.

I’m so grateful for families! I’m so grateful for brothers!

Happy Birthday Brian!

northogdenhomebrianbradkeithjoysundaybest

Little Brothers!

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LarryAndGrantLittleBoys

Today is my little brother Grant’s birthday- Happy Birthday Grant!!

And on the 2nd of April was my baby brother Larry’s birthday- Happy Birthday Larry!!

Aren’t they so cute?

When we were kids I was often the one in charge when the parents weren’t home. I wish I could say I was always nice to them. I wasn’t.

They really were fun little brothers. They were inseparable.

Grant seemed a little more quiet than Larry when they were kids. Grant has so many talents, and is very creative. He worked hard at college and is a very good provider for his family. He is a leader. One of my favorite things about Grant is, I know he is always doing his best in whatever he accomplishes. You can count on him for love and support! For years it was our tradition to go to the local Parade of Homes together. He loves architecture and I love looking at all of the beautiful homes.  These days, besides being an all around great guy, he is a brilliant photographer of the Great Salt Lake area.

Larry is my baby brother. I don’t know if he likes me calling him that, but I was 9 when he was born and helping mom take care of him was such a fun thing to me. He was my baby. The one I took care of, and hauled around. Now he is a big guy and very lovable. He took state in wrestling in high school. We are all proud of that. He is very generous and loving to all of us. He is so creative and has a lot of projects going all the time. He is the epitome of an entrepreneur. He writes music and stories, and is creative and efficient, and also a great photographer and world traveler. He is my biggest help when it comes to technology (I’m sure he wishes he wasn’t).

Once when we were young I wanted to watch my two favorite shows: Love Boat, and Fantasy Island (I am embarrassed to say that), and the little brothers wanted to watch something else. Well, I was the boss ’cause mom and dad were gone. I said, “No, way!” A few minutes later the little brothers come in the room with picket signs and saying, “Rights for little brothers!” Bouncing the signs up and down. I about lost it! Oh my stars! They were so cute.

I feel so blessed to have these cute little brothers!!! I love you both!

LarryAndGrantBigBoys

My life would not be complete without you!

 

He’s a Keeper!

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This is my brother Brad! He’s giving a squish to his sweetie Cindy!

Today is his Birthday!!!!

When I was a little girl I remember him being so good to me. He was, and still is, a wonderful big brother.

He is one of the hardest workers I’ve ever met. He has been working since he was in his early teen years. He still works so hard to provide for his family!

He always had the beautiful cars when he was a teenager. This was the late 70’s and he had these beautiful muscle cars. He had a Chevelle, a Monte Carlo, and a LeMans. He always took such good care of his things. He has always been so responsible.

He is a good brother, dad, husband and son to our parents.

I love him and hope he has the most Happy Birthday Ever!!!

I am so blessed to have a big brother like him.

A Trip to the Motherland!

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My parents went on a lovely trip to England

with my baby brother, his wife, and her parents.

What a wonderful thing to do!!!

I almost climbed into their luggage.

In this picture they are visiting a place called Rollrightstones, you can read about it here!

“The Rollright Stones is a ancient site located on the Oxfordshire/Warwickshire border in England. The complex consists of three main elements, The Kings Men stone circle, the King Stone, and the Whispering Knights.”

I may never get to go on a trip like this, but I have been traveling with them as they go. You might wonder how. The answer is…the internet. I have their itinerary. I know what their plans are, and I can search and see what they are seeing on the internet.  I am having a blast on their trip!!!

Hopefully I’ll be able to share some more pictures. So come visit and I’ll share what I can.