Thinking about the best moments in my life makes me wish I could return just for a quick visit. I would never want to go back and change things. At this point in my life I can see how the best moments were a gift, and the hard moments were a lesson. With that said, if I could go back for a visit I totally would, only if I could come right back to this moment and not have to repeat all the in-between experiences that brought me to this point.
The first moment that I’d like to go back to was the day I married my best friend, and sweetheart. I remember as a young teenager feeling unsure about myself. I wasn’t sure if I was pretty enough, or skinny enough, or good enough for anyone to love. I was so amazed and blessed when my sweetheart and I found each other. We have been married almost 39 years now. Long before we fell in love we were good friends. I knew him for many years before he asked me out. We were so comfortable with each other I wasn’t sure it was a date. I thought to myself “Are we going as friends?” Well, I decided if he opened the door for me, it was a date. And he did open the door for me. I was so excited to know he wanted to be more than friends. But we’ve always been friends even now. I married my best friend, and my sweetheart. What a wonderful day!
The next moment I would love to return to is really 4 moments. The moments each of our children were born. What a miracle! One minute they’re in and part of you and the next they are their own person; breathing, crying, wiggling, looking around at the world. What a gift that Heavenly Father has given us to become parents. To learn that most special love. I remember the quiet moments, holding them and just looking at them. Wondering if I’ll ever be able to do the parent thing right for them. Then what seemed like too fast they grew up.
I’m so grateful for these wonderful moments in life. Sometimes life feels like a lot. So many challenges, so much fun, experiences that teach us and experiences where we’re the teacher. So many things we hope for, and so many things we hope we never have to go through. We don’t always get to choose. But I think these precious, and beautiful moments are what keeps me going.
To be brave is almost the same as courageous. The dictionary describes Brave as; possessing or exhibiting courage or courageous endurance. I don’t know for sure if I’ve ever been really brave. Maybe a little brave. I have done things that were hard, scary and I may have I endured them fairly well. I do believe I did my best.
When I think of Brave people I think of David who killed Goliath. He truly was an example of bravery. His story is one of my favorites. The scripture reads:
1 Samuel 17:20 And David 1-rose up early in the morning, and 2-left the sheep with a keeper, and took, and went, as 3-Jesse had commanded him; and he came to the trench, as the host was going forth to the fight, and shouted for the battle. 21 For Israel and the Philistines had put the battle in array, army against army.
1-He was not lazy, 2- He was responsible, leaving the sheep with a keeper, and 3-Obedient doing what his father had commanded him to do.
Then he finds out that this Philistine had been taunting them for 40 days, saying he would fight any of the soldiers. Goliath was huge, and probably ugly and very intimidating. David is surprised that Israelite Amy is not going up against him. He goes to Saul the King and asks if he can go up against Goliath. Saul says no, you’re too young, you are not a soldier and just a shepherd boy. So David tells the king about all the times he has save the sheep from wolves and bears, killing them and saving the sheep. 35 And 4-I went out after him, and smote him, and 5-delivered it out of his mouth: and when he arose against me, I caught him by his beard, and 6-smote him, and slew him.
David, 4-Was brave and determined to stop the wild beasts from killing the sheep. 5-He saved the sheep right out of the mouth of the beasts. 6-Then he finished the job so the wild animal couldn’t come back after the sheep.
36 Thy servant slew both the lion and the bear: and this uncircumcised Philistine shall be as one of them, seeing he hath defied the armies of the living God.
This is one of my favorite parts, he is using persuasion to convince the king about something the king already knows. The Israelites were the army of the Living God. You cannot go wrong with God on your side. So of course Saul says he can do it. He gives him armor, it’s too big, so David says I will go out without it. So Brave! He chooses 5 smooth stones and heads out to meet Goliath, and says:
46 This day will the Lord adeliver thee into mine hand; and I will smite thee, and take thine head from thee; and I will give the carcases of the host of the Philistines this day unto the fowls of the air, and to the wild beasts of the earth; that all the earth may bknow that there is a God in Israel.
47 And all this assembly shall know that the Lord saveth not with sword and spear: for the abattleis the Lord’s, and he will give you into our hands.
49 And David put his hand in his bag, and took thence a stone, and slang it, and smote the Philistine in his forehead, that the stone sunk into his forehead; and he fell upon his face to the earth.
50 So David prevailed over the Philistine with a sling and with a stone, and smote the Philistine, and slew him; but there was no sword in the hand of David.
51 Therefore David ran, and stood upon the Philistine, and took his sword, and drew it out of the sheath thereof, and slew him, and cut off his head therewith. And when the Philistines saw their champion was dead, they fled.
Wow!! Just, wow! Of course then all the army of the Israelites are cheering and ready to go after the Philistines.
David of course became very well known and eventually became the king. I love this story and David because he is so focused on what is important at each moment in this story. Most important to me is that, he was so brave. He was young, and not a soldier, but he showed all the soldiers what true bravery is like. He knew that His God had protected him at other times in his life and he knew that God can be trusted with what He says He’ll do. He believed and had faith. Faith is a principle of action. When you believe you need to go and do what you know you should and what God commands.
I know others who have been brave. Ancestors who crossed seas and continents to find a special place to live and believe what they knew to be true. I have parents and brothers who went through many challenges in theirs lives with bravery and endurance. I know that being Brave is very important in this world. We know we’re here to learn and grow. Some learning is scary and hard. Sometimes we have experiences that we know are coming and we don’t want to go through, but if our focus and trust in in the Living God, we can be Brave and go through hard things, and come out successful and true at the end.
One time when I was in the clerk’s office at church, I was filling out our tithing slip and also filling out our missionary contributions.
I did a no no, and I said a swear word.
We had two missionaries out the time Kelsey was serving in Texas. Alex was serving in South Africa. We knew our main responsibility was Alex, because members in our ward made the generous offer to help in paying for Kelsey‘s mission.
At the time the monthly amount needed, for a missionary was $400. Both sets of grandparents were each paying $100 as well. It was such a blessing to have all this help while our kids served the Lord. This did not, however, stop me from worrying or feeling concerned about our finances and whether we would be able to come up with enough money to help with the missionaries. Even while filling out the forms, I was hoping and wondering if we could make ends meet in my mind. I was always worried about money.
Even though I consider myself a fairly righteous person, I’m definitely not perfect and have had a problem with swearing most of my adult life.
I’m sorry to say I just feel better after I say a swear word.
So on this day, standing in the clerks office trying to fill out the form. I made a mistake on the form and said a naughty word. I hate to say it but I’m sure they all heard what I said. I followed it up with, “When you guys get to heaven, please put in a good word for me. I’ll need all the help I can get.”
They laughed, but said nothing else. I hate it when that happens I may have even been the primary president during this incident as well. Oh well, I may be OK after all. J. Golden Kimball, when asked if he thought he’d make it to Heaven replied, “Yes, because I repent too damn fast.” I love that, knowing that an apostle used colorful language and even he thought it’s OK when you say a swear once in a while.
When I was a kid, my mama had two main swears that she used. Although she would say she wasn’t swearing. The first one was “Hells bells!” When faced with a challenge or a difficult task, sometimes Mom would say, “Oh, Hells bells!” The other one was, “Dingdong damn.” It was one of my favorites because she’s usually be upset with one of us kids or upset with something we did or didn’t do and she say, “I don’t give a dingdong damn what you do!”
Because she added a word to the swear word she acted like it wasn’t swearing. We knew better, it’s all in your intent. So as a Mama myself, I just dropped the dingdong or the hells, and use the words without the embellishments my mama used. I think in the grand scheme of things, she’s ok and so am I.
Merriam Webster defines an uncle as: the brother of one’s father or mother, or the husband of one’s aunt or uncle.
When I thought about writing about my uncles, I didn’t realize it would be kind of a sad thing. I first thought about who my uncles are:
I had one maternal uncle.
I had 6 paternal uncles.
My Mama only had one sister, that means one uncle. I didn’t really know him very well. They lived a distance away and when we saw the family I was busy playing and having fun with my cousins.
My Daddy had two brothers and 5 sisters. In his family there were 6 uncles. Some of them lived far away in other states, from us. I only saw them a few times in my life and the others I never even met them. All of my uncles have passed on now.
Merriam Webster also says that an uncle is: one who helps, advises, or encourages.
I will say I really never had an experience like that with my uncles.
Maybe that’s why I feel like having family close is so important. I have 5 siblings, my sweetie has 6 siblings. That means there are many aunts and uncles and they all live (at least part time) within a few hours of us. My children have grown up knowing their uncles and aunts and having a relationship with them. I love that.
Family is so important to me. Building relationships and memories together is the glue that keeps a family happy and loving each other. It takes work. We used to see the family I grew up in often. We saw my darlin’s family often, now it’s a little less often. We all have our own families, grandkids and that is where the focus is.
As I’ve gotten older the effort of planning, and arranging get togethers is harder and more exhausting. It’s still worth it though. I know my kids love their uncles and have great relationships with them. I am so happy about that!
The last definition Merriam Webster gives for uncle is: used as a cry of surrender. I laughed out loud when I saw that. I guess that is where I’ll end this post. Life is tough. It is an ongoing effort to do your best to see everyone as often as you can, even uncles. When you want things a certain way or different than it is. I always thought I’d see all the family more, but I don’t always get to choose how things go. Everyones get to choose for themselves how much time they have for family. So with that, I’ll just say “uncle!” and surrender to what is. Uncles are wonderful and I’m glad they’re part of life.
We’re all human beings, and are mostly the same. Made in the image of God. We have eyes, ears, arms, legs, hair, mouths, etc. Because of DNA we all have familiar traits. Many times in life you can tell people from the same family because the look very similar.
In the family I grew up in we have funny little pinky toes. They’re short and bend toward the big toe, over the toe next to it. It is very obvious in most of us kids. My dad and all the brothers except two have what my dad calls fringe. Bald on top with hair on the sides and back. There’s an old wives tale that says the men/sons go bald if the mother’s father is bald. My Mama’s dad had a full head of hair when he died. So I don’t think that’s true.
In our family, we have two girls and two boys. We hear from many people that our girls look exactly like each other. Some people can’t tell them apart. That is a surprise to me, because I don’t think they look alike much at all. The boys are very different Riley has dark brown hair, and Alex has blonde hair, although the older he gets the darker his hair has gotten. People have said they look alike. Really?
One of the things I would say is a trait that has carried down to our kids, and grandkids is curly hair. Not everyone has it, but some do and I did and do. My maternal grandma and my Mama both had wavy/curly hair. I have always had curly hair. Riley has curly hair. His kids have curly hair. Although his sweet wife Janet has curly hair too. So they get it from both parents. Emily, our Bonus Baby has a sweet little one with really curly hair.
JoyGrandbaby Monroe
One other physical trait that I think I have from my grandma is short and fluffy. I may not be super fond of the fluffy part, but I have learned to love me, all of me, and I do.
I think physical traits that repeat through the generations are neat! It is one of the many things that bonds us to each other even if they’re a little quirky.
It’s been three years since my Daddy passed on. He has been missed. I think of him often and miss having a Daddy Daughter date once a month.
When he passed, and we were planning his funeral, we wanted to do something that had special meaning for the flowers. I had recently worked at a flower shop and knew how to design flowers, and could potentially do all the arrangements for his funeral.
As I was sitting at the kitchen table thinking about this, a thought came to my mind very clear, use trees! Yes! That was the answer. My daddy loved trees! It might have been him giving me the message from the other side.
My Daddy was a big fan or trees, all kinds. He bought many trees in his lifetime. I think Weeping Willow trees were his favorite. He would buy trees that reminded you of a Charlie Brown tree. Very crooked or an unusual angle on one side. He died traveling with family and one of their destinations on the trip was the Redwoods in California. He would often quote the poem by Joyce Kilmer called Trees.
I also love the- Advice from a Tree: Stand tall and proud, Go out on limb, Remember your roots, Drink plenty of water, Be content with your natural beauty, Enjoy the view.-Ilan Shamir
We decided we could buy trees for each of the children of my parents, and after the funeral we could plant them in our yards. We spent time looking and choosing the trees we felt would best serve the purpose. I have a beautiful flowering Pear tree that sits right outside my office window. I love it! When I look out the window at it I remember my Dad and his love of trees. It was a great idea, and I’m so grateful we did it.
A handful of years ago I was in a challenging place. Our life had changed completely. If you visit the blog or know me you would already know this. Just for the sake of the story I’ll tell you a what happened.
One thing that I should share is that I have depression. I have had it for many years. I am a pretty good faker, but mostly because it’s my struggle and I don’t want people to ask too much about it. I have had a lot of responsibilities while having depression, so I would say I’m high functioning (whatever that means). I mostly just do what I need to do and cry or be by myself when I get home. I’m telling you this because I’ve dealt with this for a long time, and if or when something big happens or changes, it can have a huge impact on my wellbeing.
Somehow I made it through a son entering the army, a son going to South Africa on a LDS Mission, and two daughters serving missions, one of which was out of the country. I am very protective and a worrier, so my kids growing up, and living somewhere out in the world is not fun. I was only able to handle this time and these experiences because of my faith in God and my understanding that it is actually a good thing and important for our kids to grow up and leave home and make their way in the world. We always knew that the end goal was to raise our kids and send them off into the unknown. We wanted them to be amazing, independent and make the world better for their being in it. That is what they did. They are wonderful. They are incredible people and I look up to them.
When our youngest Emily, our Bonus Baby came home from her mission we thought, “What’s next?” All of our children were living at home. Our oldest and his sweet wife Janet were living in our basement apartment, while they looked for a home. And the other two were working and deciding what they were going to do. All the kids were working to give us help with the bills and such. We knew we wouldn’t/couldn’t make ends meet without them. We were house poor when we bought our wonderful home, but wanted to stay as long as possible. We lived there for 18 years. We raised our kids there, we loved our neighbors and location…but, we knew it was time to move. We prayed and felt like we needed to put the house up for sale. We sold it in 2 months. Riley and Janet bought a house. Alex bought a house and the girls moved in with him.
In a 3 months period of time we got our youngest home from a mission, moved and became empty nesters. I mean when it’s right, it’s right! I knew it would be hard, but I also knew it was right. Things fell into place. Next was adjusting to all the new stuff, and missing my kids. Sniff, sniff, waaahhhhh!
We love our home! We love our neighbors and new friends. I was just so lonesome. So lonesome for my kids. I guess we really ripped the band-aid off! I had a few different jobs, but was really struggling with my depression and finally decided to stay home and do daycare. What that meant was I could feel sad now and then, and hold and love someone else’s kids while I try to adjust to this new normal. It helped. I love children and they love me.
On one occasion I was feeling super sad, and I said to Father in Heaven. “If you’ll help me feel better, I’ll do more.” Meaning I’ll love others more, I’ll leave my house and serve. I’ll bless others with my love. I was having a hard time just helping with the young women in our LDS Ward. I wanted to help, but totaling didn’t want to help. I didn’t want to leave the house. Tears came very easy. I cried so much during this time in my life. After I told Heavenly Father that I’d do more if He helped me feel better, the very next thought that came to my mind was, “If you’d do more, you’d feel better.” Very clear, very calm, that was the answer. I said out loud, “Damnit!” I didn’t want that answer! I knew that that was the right answer, because we forget ourselves when we serve, but I didn’t feel like it. I wanted to feel like it and then do better.
Doing what God wants is always good, but when we do it while we’re in the middle of pain, hardship or sorrow, it is actually doing something that will help us to be more Christlike. Serving, loving and helping another while you’re in pain is what Jesus did after He suffered in the Garden when He healed the guards ear. It’s what He did on the cross when He was in agony and He gave John charge over His Mama. He is our best and most wonderful example. I want to be like Him.
That was pure revelation for me. It was then and is now a guide to doing better. If I’m struggling to love, serve or help another and I don’t really want to do it- I know that’s ok, but I also know I’ll feel better after I do it. I’m so grateful for revelation. I’m so grateful that even in my weird chemical brain I have been blessed with inspiration. I just need to be still and open to it. I want any and all the inspiration that Heavenly Father is willing to give me. I know that He will inspire you too with what ever help you need. Be careful though, cause you might just have to do something you didn’t really want to do, but I promise you will feel better!
New life-Trees with buds and flowers blooming, baby chicks, baby lambs, and babies all around. More sunshine and warmer weather. What blessings!
Pretty dresses-Each little girl wearing a new dress for Easter. It’s a special feeling to get cleaned up and put on a new pretty dress to go to church and sing and pray. To remember Jesus on Easter morning. As a little girl Easter was the only time I got a new dress, and sometimes new shoes! In my bedroom, I would hang my dress where I could barely see it in the darkness as I fell asleep. My shoes would be positioned next to my pillow in their box in my bed, so I could reach over and touch them or look to make sure they were still there. I felt so special that I could have new and beautiful things.
Egg Hunts-Fun times with kids and grandkids hiding and finding the eggs. As I’ve gotten older and can host or help with Egg Hunts it is so much fun to get everything ready for the kids to come. My Darlin and I work hard on the yard to make it look nice, and invite all the grandkids to come and hunt. The are so adorable and seeing them having fun is the best. When I was a kid, eggs would be hidden around the house. We would search and search. Funny thing is we would almost always miss one and find it a month or two later.
Sweet Treats-Baskets with treats and candy. Some people don’t believe we should give kids candy in abundance. Well, we don’t have candy all the time, but when I was a child it was so fun and unusual to get candy and a chocolate bunny in my basket. To me it gives all of us something sweet to look forward to in life. Landmark dates that keep us going and celebrating life. Treats are a must!
True Love-Most important and overwhelming is the love of our Savior, Jesus Christ who gave all for us. And our Father in Heaven who gave us a plan and way to learn and grow, because He loves us and wants us to become more! He knew we would make mistakes and need a Savior. When I think of the death of Jesus and all that happened on Good Friday I get so sad. I can think about it but it hurts to think of all He went through. I’m so grateful for Sunday morning and for His resurrection. It is finished. He accomplished what no-one else could do and because of Him we all are blessed. I love my Heavenly Father and His Son our Savior.
When I was little, I had a tricycle. I loved my tricycle, and rode it as much as I could. Some days were snowy days, and some days I was busy doing other fun things for playtime. I remember one year it was Christmas time, and I found my tricycle in the basement in Dad‘s room where he did projects. I was surprised to find it there, and wondered what Daddy was doing with it. On Christmas day I received a tricycle that looked a lot like my tricycle, but was a different color. How fun to get a new tricycle in a new color to ride and enjoy! Many years later, and many Christmases later I was one of the parents with little children to surprise on Christmas morning. In the garage hidden in the back was a Wonder horse that had belonged to Riley years before. He had outgrown it and I thought he forgot about it. My Darlin and I thought we would paint it up and give it to Alex for Christmas. Early on Christmas morning the kids woke us up excited to check out their presents! It’s always a fun time on Christmas morning. As each of the kids surveyed their gifts, I noticed Riley checking out Alex‘s horse. I could practically see the wheels turning in his head. Then he said, ”Hey.., that looks a little like my old Wonder horse.” I said, “Hmmm, I thought your wonder horse was in the back of the garage.” and he said, ”Oh yeah!” and then continued playing with his toys as happy as could be. Another Christmas, Riley had asked for a mountain bike for Christmas. Weeks before Christmas came my Darlin and I had found a bike in really good shape at a yard sale and decided that this would do for Riley‘s Christmas. Christmas morning came Riley surveyed his toys and came up to the mountain bike and said, ”Hey, this bike is used!” all the kids stopped what they were doing a looked. I had to think fast and said, “Well, maybe it is. Maybe Santa gave it to another little boy that didn’t appreciate it and so now he’s giving it to you.” Riley looked at the bike smiled and said, “This is a great bike!”
As children, we never realize the sacrifice our parents make to provide for our needs and our wants. It isn’t until we become the parents that we see how much love really goes into the gifts that are given. My parents were doing the best they could, and me and my Darlin as parents were too. The most important part of getting and giving gifts is understanding the heart of the person giving it. Most people are doing the best they can and we should appreciate that.
Teaching our children to love and appreciate what they have and what they get is the very best gift we can give them, and I’m so grateful my parents gave me that gift!
I love to watch cheerleaders! They are truly amazing. They get you pumped up and excited about life. When they perform and do stunts it is a wow moment in life! One of the funnest things I’ve seen them do is called Spirit fingers. They lift up their hands high in the air and wiggle their fingers and yell “Wooohooo!” If they do it right the people in the audience will raise their hands and do spirit fingers back to them and yell “Wooohooo” too.
I loved cheerleaders in junior high school too. I thought that being a cheerleader would be so fun! I did gymnastics for years and knew how to tumble, and do some tricks. I decided when try outs were coming up that I should try out for cheerleader. I worked hard at it, but I was all by myself. Some of the girls would work together as they practiced the required cheer and stunts. We didn’t have stunts back them like they have now, where several girls lift the smallest girl while she holds her leg up and then flips off the top of the girls holding her. It was just you doing a cheer that they gave you. On the day of try outs I was so nervous. I felt good too, like it could happen. I could make cheerleader and have a blast cheering the teams on at all the games.
When it was my turn to try out, I ran out into the gym, did a tumbling pass and yelled my cheer at the top of my lungs! I thought “Oh yeah, I’ve got spirit!” It went well, I thought, mostly because I never got to see anyone else try out. I felt good about it though. I went home. Wondered about it several times. Then bedtime came. I didn’t sleep great, because I was still wondering and hoping that I made it. The next morning I got on the bus for school. I saw one of the other girls who tried out. I said, “I think I might have made cheerleader.” She said, “Really?” I said, “I just feel good about how I did.” She smiled. When we got to school they had an assembly were the new cheerleaders were announced. I found out that the new cheerleaders had been kidnapped the night before and taken for dinner or dessert, I can’t remember which. I also found out that the girl who tried out with me and that I talked to on the bus made cheerleader. I felt foolish. I wished I hadn’t said anything to her. Oh well, I thought you can’t do anything about it now. I was sad for little while, but then ok with not making cheerleader, but I never tried out again. That was about 47 years ago.
I still love to watch cheerleaders. They are amazing. It sure looks like fun!
I was recently thinking about the story of trying out for cheerleader. I’m ok with not making it, and not being a cheerleader, but I realized while thinking, I am a cheerleader! Even though I didn’t make cheerleader as a young woman I am a cheerleader and always will be.
At 21 years old, I was a missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I was a cheerleader for people looking for a Savior and friend. As missionaries we would cheer as they accepted the gospel and were baptized members of the church. We felt the spirit as they bore humble testimony of God and His influence in their lives. What a blessing to be their cheerleaders.
I cheer for my brothers, Daddy and Mama. Since Daddy passed away I am my mama’s biggest cheerleader. I give her pep talks and tell her how amazing she is, and that she can “do it!”
In the first years of marriage and even now, I am my husbands best cheerleader. All through the years we raised our children I cheered them on daily! (Spirit fingers!!) I was chosen to be a Relief Society President and Head cheerleader to our ward women’s organization. It was an important job- encouraging those mom’s and wives to do their best in spite of exhaustion. I cheered the Primary children on as the Primary President and leader and taught them all about spirit, and how to follow the leader. I cheered for the Young Women in our neighborhood as the Young Women President and leader, and sometimes we cheered together about this wonderful, and exciting life! Just like a high school football game, there were highs and lows and I would cheer; “You can do it! There’s nothin to it!!”
I cheer for my kids now that they are adults, and their spouses and their darling little team mates! I will always be their cheerleader!
This year I made it to one of the best squads. I didn’t even have to try out. I was chosen to be a cheerleader for Families. I am so excited to cheer for the members of our ward family. I will cheer and encourage and persuade them to research and find their loved ones and get to know them. Then they can take them to the temple and be together forever!! I am cheering on my friends who are writing their personal histories. I am sharing my excitement and spirit for Family History. Yes! This is an important job. I love it and I’m having so much fun cheering!
We can all be cheerleaders. You don’t have to try out. You just need to be available and care about others. It’s that simple.
“We have spirit- yes we do, We have spirit- how about you?”
