Category Archives: Lessons

The things we say

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I heard a story of a man who spread falsehoods and slandered the name of a wise man in his town. The man who spread the falsehoods decided to go to the wise mans home and ask forgiveness. The wise man, knowing that the man couldn’t possibly understand the gravity of what he had done, told him to go to his home and cut a feather pillow and let the feathers blow in the wind. Then come back and see me. He did so and came back to the wise mans home.
“Did you do as I said?” asked the wise man
“yes, am I forgiven now?” answered the man.
“Just one more thing, now go gather all the feathers that came out of the pillow.” said the wise man.
The man then insisted that it would be impossible to gather all of the feathers, the wind had scattered them everywhere. The wise man then told the man that even though he wanted to take back everything he had said, the damage had been done and it was impossible, just like it was impossible to gather all the feathers.
When we’re placed in a situation where we’re tempted to say something about someone, remember these things that are tried and true:
T-Is it true?
H-Is it helpful?
I-Is it inspiring?
N-Is it necessary?
K-Is it kind?
Of course even if we know something is true about someone, we don’t always need to share it. Is telling someone else something you’ve heard about an individual a kind thing to do? Not usually, unless, it is necessary. What if they need help? Remember Thumper from the Disney show “Bambi”, when his mother scolds him for what he says to Bambi. She asks him to repeat what it is his father told him. And he says, “if you can’t say somethin nice, don’t say nothin at all”
An important part of telling the truth is not repeating something that is clearly not the thing that was said. Especially in politics. Things are taken out of context all the time. Listen carefully to what was said, if you are going to quote someone.
My mom reminded me of these three rules, and I felt like it would be an important thing to share today. We all need a reminder. So the next time an opportunity to share information you know about someone comes up, think to yourself…. if I tell what I know, is it true? is it helpful? Is it inspiring? Is it necessary? is it kind? and then just smile instead. Love, Joy

What’s your speed limit?

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I came across this speed limit sign the other day and had to get a picture of it. I love it when I see something like this. It’s not the usual and it makes me laugh and think a little bit.

Do we try to put ourselves into categories of speed limits like

the roads we travel

in our lives.

-10 mph parking lot

-20 mph school zone

-25 mph residential

-there are even 85 mph interstate highways.

Are you going the interstate speed in your life, driving fast like a crazy person, when you’re really in a residential area? Trying to go fast and get somewhere quick, only stopping for gas, food and potty breaks. If you go fast and you’re not prepared for the trip, with the car in good working order-and yourself rested and alert, you could crash. Are we prepared for all the roads we travel? It would be a much more serious crash going 85 mph than going 25 mph.

Maybe your in a school zone, with young children and going faster that you should. I have personally never felt like I was only going 20 mph in my life. I always felt like I was going faster than I should, especially while all my kids were in school.

Maybe we all have our own personal speed at which we do our best. When I saw this sign I thought 17 mph sounds nice….not too fast not too slow, and definitely unique. I think I’m going to choose my own speed (not literally, of course). Just how fast should I go in life? It will depend on the place I’m traveling through. I will only go as fast as it is safe and enjoyable to go on the roads of my life. The older I get the slower I want to go. I really want to enjoy the ride and the scenery along the way, and spend time visiting with those I’m riding through life with. My mission president used to say, “enjoy the ride”, speaking of life and our journey here. Let’s all “enjoy the ride!” a little more than we have been. I think we all need to choose our speed wisely.

Bloom where you’re planted!

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I often think of a time in my early 20’s when I was serving as a missionary in San Antonio, Texas. Like most volunteer situations, we were usually assigned where we would be serving. Needless to say, the area we ended up serving at any particular time would not necessarily be where WE would choose. The President of our mission used to say a quote that to this day is one of my favorites. Bloom where you’re planted! which to me meant grow and do the best you can -no matter what situation life finds you in. We don’t always enjoy any or all experiences while we’re going through them, but even the hardest experiences make us better than we would be without them. Sometimes the Master prunes us back and moves us to new soil, in a place He knows we might struggle, but He also knows we need to grow in. He knows us and has a plan for us, what He wants us to become. If we can learn to Bloom!, He will help us.
“If ye contuinue in the faith grounded and settled and be not moved away from the hope of the gospel.” -Colossians 1:23

Slow & Steady!

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I feel like I have spent the better part of my motherhood very overwhelmed. I know I’m not alone, but it still bugs me. I want to be on top of all my responsibilities, all the time. Talk about unrealistic expectations!!! I learned a great lesson from one of my kids. When my son, Alex, was quite young, he taught me the value of patience and perseverance. One day, while going through piles and piles of mail, school papers, bills and various other things that tend to pile up on our kitchen counters, I screamed, “I’m never going to get through all these piles”. To which Alex replied, “Mom, remember ‘Slow & steady wins the race!'” Now, most people know this phrase from The Tortoise and the Hare, the darling children’s book about the race between these two animals. The hare races frantically along, then has to take naps because he is so tired from being frantic (sound familiar?). The tortoise moves along slow and steady. Of course the tortoise wins because he kept an even pace, and didn’t wear himself out trying to be super turtle (or super mom). Ever since that day, I remember what he said and am glad for the lesson. I am much more patient with myself and my life. I am learning to perservere better all the time. Remember….Slow & steady wins the race!

Choosing Joy!

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I grew up with 5 brothers. My parents say that after having the first three boys, it was such a “joy” to get a girl, they named me Joy. Really, I know that they tell me that, because they want me to feel special. That’s just the way they are. They want all of their children to feel special and they always let us know how much we are loved. I used to wonder a lot about the name Joy and always felt a certain amount of pressure to be joyful. Like it was an assignment or calling. Something required, if you were named Joy. I have since changed my view. After struggling through a difficult time in my life years ago, I came upon a concept that I had heard many times in my life, but hadn’t quite grasped it. We all go through tough times, things we don’t want to deal with in life. That is part of the earthly experience. What I learned is this, no one (except God) can stop us from being hurt. And we would never choose to have the hard things happen to us. But we can choose how long we continue thinking about the pain after it is over. We attain Joy by choosing it!!! We are in charge of our happiness. I know it’s sad that it took me this long to realize this. But more importantly for me is, that I know now that my parents named me Joy, because God knew that I would need a reminder through out my life to be happy. I choose Joy! And I am grateful that my parents were so inspired to give me such a special name.