Category Archives: Love

The United States of America, My Beloved Country

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My Parents Influence was very impactful on the love I have for my beloved United States of America. My Daddy served in the US Army as a young man. They were both born in the Great Depression, making them very humble and grateful for all blessings. They were frugal not being over indulgent in having things, but very careful with what they owned using things up and wearing things out. They didn’t have to throw much away, because they repaired and took good care of their home, cars, clothes, and yard. Many days out of the year an American Flag hung from the front porch. We were taught to love our country and be grateful for all of the abundance living here provides. When jets stationed at the Air Force Base just south of where I grew up, would fly overhead, my Mama would put her hand on her heart a say with an “Awe” in her voice, “Just look at that! That is the sound of Freedom!” My parents taught me that even though things aren’t perfect here in this country, it is the best country on earth. It is the only place on earth where you have the right to choose most anything you might imagine. There are laws, so within the boundary of laws, you can even burn the flag. Most places would never allow that. It breaks my heart when people do it, but I know that because of our beautiful country, if someone wants to they can. We were always taught to share. Sometimes the government tries to get involved in giving to those less fortunate, but it will never be fair, because imperfect people are in charge. We always give a tithe to our church, and donate to various groups to help others. That’s just what you do to love your neighbor. I can’t tell others what to do with their money, but I was taught to share. We have an abundance in this country.

From the very first day I started school we stood as a class and said The Pledge of Allegiance. Picture 25 tiny little kindergarteners with their hands over their heart looking up at the flag and saying: “I Pledge Allegiance to the Flag of The United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands, One nation under God, Indivisible, with Liberty and Justice for All. ” How wonderful! How perfect to be an ally and true to our country. It’s not a democracy like so many say, it’s a Republic. The dictionary defines a Republic as: a state in which supreme power is held by the people and their elected representatives, and which has an elected or nominated president rather than a monarch. Our beautiful country is ours! It belongs to each of its citizens. And my favorite part is that we are “One Nation Under God.” Our country is founded and originally lead by God fearing, courageous, noble men and women who put God first. They knew they were nothing without God. They prayed at all meetings asking and pleading with God to be with them as they worked out how to build this country . My personal belief is that we were all meant to choose what religion that suites us. If you don’t have a country that believes in a God, an all powerful being, supreme, how can you be allowed to choose what you want to believe. People came because this country would allow that. The founders wanted us all to be undivided, so that choosing faith and God is critical. If we do choose Faith and God, there will be Justice for all, because we will love our neighbor as ourselves. We will want what’s best for us and our neighbor and all citizens.

Well, there are a lot of people who don’t want God involved in their lives in this country. We used to get a ten minute quiet time for meditation or prayer when I was in elementary. Prayer is not very popular right now. Some schools don’t even say the Pledge of Allegiance. Our country is struggling.

When Brett’s parents, Pearce and Nancy were serving a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Boston, we knew we had to visit. It was our once in a lifetime trip. We were able to fly to Boston, where we stayed with the in-laws. We rented a big van and trucked all over with our family of 6 and Pearce and Nancy. This is the list of the places we saw: Fall River, Lexington and Concord, Old North Church, Paul Revere’s Home, New England Aquarium, Plymouth, Plimouth Plantation, Providence and Newport, Rhode Island, New Bedford, New York, Statue of Liberty, Philadelphia, Independence Hall, Liberty Bell, US Mint, Betsy Ross Home, Washington DC, The following Monuments and Memorials; Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Vietnam, Iwo Jima, Vietnam Women’s Memorial, Korean War Veterans Memorial, Marines Memorial, and Lincoln Memorial . We went to The Air and Space Museum, The US History Museum, The Museum of Natural History and then at the end of the trip we walked the Freedom Trail in downtown Boston before we flew home.

I was in so much amazement, awe and respect for this beautiful country. Learning about and seeing so many places that represent our history. We live in a time when some people look down on the founders. I am amazed at all they accomplished. I am grateful for their tenacity and grit. I don’t have any room to judge any of them. I understand a lot of our history and why things happened when and how they happened. I like to believe they did their very best. I feel ashamed of those who judge them. There is a very prideful attitude in our country right now. Very judgmental, and critical of all others. While on our trip I thought about the young founders like George Washington and others, who weren’t really that old, who gave so much time to fight for freedom. I thought about the pilgrims who came over the ocean and did their best to survive the first winter, half of whom died. What did they eat? How did they do it? I know there are some stories that are harsh about them, I think they did the best they could, just like we would. I thought about the beautiful- Statue of Liberty and of the feeling of gratitude those who went through so much coming to live here must have felt to see her. I thought about all of the talking and reasoning that helped the original 13 colonies decide to unite. I felt so much gratitude and love for those who fought and those who died fighting in all of the wars throughout history. I love all of them! I hope they know. We viewed the displays of many of the miraculous events like Space travel, breaking the sound barrier, first flight across the Atlantic. We saw amazing skeletons of animals, the Hope Diamond, meteorite rocks, and I felt so grateful for those who organize all of these things so we can see them. We drove back up to Massachusetts from DC and we were amazed that all of these things we had seen and done were within about 7 hours of each other. We had a magnificent time. We will never for it. I feel so grateful for our nation and it’s history. I’m so happy to know the history, warts and all. I love The United States of America!

I hope it’s clear that even though our beautiful country is not perfect that I will always stand by her. I will always believe in her, and I believe there is Always Hope! I trust our wonderful Heavenly Father the He will bless our country. Even though so many have forgotten about Him, so far He hasn’t forgotten us. I will always be true to God and Country. I am so Grateful for The United States of America.

Moments From the Past

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Thinking about the best moments in my life makes me wish I could return just for a quick visit. I would never want to go back and change things. At this point in my life I can see how the best moments were a gift, and the hard moments were a lesson. With that said, if I could go back for a visit I totally would, only if I could come right back to this moment and not have to repeat all the in-between experiences that brought me to this point.

The first moment that I’d like to go back to was the day I married my best friend, and sweetheart. I remember as a young teenager feeling unsure about myself. I wasn’t sure if I was pretty enough, or skinny enough, or good enough for anyone to love. I was so amazed and blessed when my sweetheart and I found each other. We have been married almost 39 years now. Long before we fell in love we were good friends. I knew him for many years before he asked me out. We were so comfortable with each other I wasn’t sure it was a date. I thought to myself “Are we going as friends?” Well, I decided if he opened the door for me, it was a date. And he did open the door for me. I was so excited to know he wanted to be more than friends. But we’ve always been friends even now. I married my best friend, and my sweetheart. What a wonderful day!

The next moment I would love to return to is really 4 moments. The moments each of our children were born. What a miracle! One minute they’re in and part of you and the next they are their own person; breathing, crying, wiggling, looking around at the world. What a gift that Heavenly Father has given us to become parents. To learn that most special love. I remember the quiet moments, holding them and just looking at them. Wondering if I’ll ever be able to do the parent thing right for them. Then what seemed like too fast they grew up.

I’m so grateful for these wonderful moments in life. Sometimes life feels like a lot. So many challenges, so much fun, experiences that teach us and experiences where we’re the teacher. So many things we hope for, and so many things we hope we never have to go through. We don’t always get to choose. But I think these precious, and beautiful moments are what keeps me going.

Arnold Friberg

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Many years ago when our Most Quoted son was in elementary school I accompanied him and his class on a field trip to the Utah State Capital. The Capital building is beautiful and one of the most prominent buildings in Salt Lake City. It is a exciting place to visit.

The purpose for the 4th grade field trip was to see the painting of Arnold Friberg’s “Prayer at Valley Forge.” It was on display at the capital and many of the school children from around the city would make the trip to see it.

It is a beloved painting featuring our first United States president, George Washington kneeling next to his horse in prayer. “It was the winter of 1777-78 at the most hopeless and discouraging time in the history of the Revolutionary War. The struggling Americans had been defeated in battle after battle and were losing all hope. Neglected by congress the soldiers were starving, and freezing, and dying without pay, and without shoes and clothing. It is said that you could track where the men walked by the blood on the snow,” said Arnold Friberg about the painting.

George Washington was their general and could have had nice accommodations, but chose to stay with his men and share in the hardships they were going through. He was such a wonderful leader, whose heart was gold and his soul was courageous. His character was what all true leaders should be, full of valor, and patriotism and a love of freedom and right. Because of his deep belief in God he knew he could pray and receive help.

Arnold Friberg said himself, “Where else could he turn, but to God?”

We went into the Gold Room at the Utah State Capital where the painting was displayed. I felt reverence and awe. What a beautiful rendition of that time in our history. I truly felt his urgency and need. I can’t imagine the weight on his shoulders. Everyone, I mean everyone was counting on him. He was counting on God.

As we came out of the Gold Room, me and Flexy were with his teacher Mr. Rhees. I saw a group of people standing around a man. I said to Mr. Rhees, “I think that’s Arnold Friberg.” We went to where he was talking to this group and listened. It was Mr. Friberg. He was giving personal information about his experience painting the beautiful, Prayer at Valley Forge. I am so grateful we came to listen. He said that at the period of time when he painted Prayer at Valley Forge it was common and usual to paint hands clasped in prayer with the palms together hands flat, but he felt that didn’t portray the urgency, and great need for Devine help. So he painted George Washington’s hands with the fingers interlocked and the knuckles almost white in a pleading gesture. Wow! I love that so much.

I felt that when I looked at the painting and I feel that in prayer about our country even now. As a citizen of our great nation I am so grateful to God for blessing the whole world with such a country as the United States of America. Is it perfect? No, but it is an example that when you put God first, like the founding fathers did, and have a desire to serve that God, and fight for the right to do so, He will bless your efforts and make more of them.

This nation gives us the right to chose: Who we worship, where we live, what we do. It gives us opportunities and possibilities, and that makes this nation the greatest. The United States of America is a blessing to me, and to all the world. I am so grateful for George Washington and others who fought and sacrificed for the rights we now enjoy. I am so grateful to our Father in Heaven for blessing me to live in such a wonderful country, with so many freedoms. I pray with interlocked fingers and white knuckles that it may continue to be “Home of the Free, because of the Brave.”

Arnold Friberg gave us a gem. Prayer at Valley Forge is a masterpiece. It was so fun to visit the Utah State Capital and see this beautiful painting, and to hear Arnold Friberg share an insight I will cherish forever.

______________________________________

It is the duty of all nations to acknowledge the providence of Almighty God, to obey his will, and to be grateful for his benefits, and to humbly implore his protection in favor.

-George Washington, Thanksgiving Proclamation.

Most Memorable District Meeting

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When you’re a missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, there are many meetings to go to. We would meet with our district about once a month and zone about once a quarter. Our district leaders were two young men, also full time missionaries.They would check to see how we were doing, and give us counsel. They would give us a little lesson, pertaining to how to be our best as missionaries.

One meeting one of the district leaders asked us if we’d like a piece of cake. Of course we said, “Yes, please!” The cake was on the table where we could all see it. It was decorated very nice with the word Gospel written across it with icing. The elder proceeded to bring out a beautiful china plate and carefully slice the cake and put a piece of cake on the plate, with a lovely silver fork. The plate was then carefully handed to the first person. It was so nice!

The next person in line for cake waited with anticipation for the beautiful cake, plate and fork, and the delivery which was expected to be just like the first piece. To our surprise the elder took from a bag a paper plate, then while holding the paper plate with one hand, took the other hand and grabbed a hand full of cake and plopped it on the paper plate. He got a plastic fork, put it on the paper plate with the cake and shoved it at the next person, and said, “Here!”

We were stunned. I think we all just sat there for a minute with our mouths open.

I feel like the lesson is obvious. At least it was to us. And the question was asked, “How do you share the Gospel?” Are you polite? Do you prepare and is your presentation a lovely and pleasant experience for those you’re sharing it with? Are you rude, or pushy? What about your appearance? Are you clean, well groomed and smell and look nice? Do you leave people with a good and happy taste in their mouth? Is the Gospel truth you share leave them wanting more?

This was such a memorable experience. I have been thoroughly grateful for it. I did then and do now, try to present my testimony and belief of the Gospel of Jesus Christ in a loving and pleasant way. What a great lesson!

We’re All Influencers

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I had a conversation with my daughter Kelsey the other day about “Influencers” on social media. As we talked about how they seem to be quite confident in what they share and seem to believe. Some of the influencers are members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, the same church we belong to. These are good people, and they sometimes have a large following, but they’re views and what they do is not always the view of the church, exactly. They sometimes don’t follow all the teachings, completely. Some are even upset about something the church or its leaders have said, and they share that on their platform. I’m a believer in agency and the freedom to choose. I know others don’t always agree with what the church teaches, but when my daughter and I talked, we both agreed the best place to learn about The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is from an official representative, missionaries, leaders, and those who are called to share the true gospel teachings. If you got your feelings hurt, or an older mentor told you something and it’s not correct, you shouldn’t be sharing that information if it’s not true. That being said, you can’t change others.

The 6th question in the temple recommend interview is this:

  1. Do you follow the teachings of the Church of Jesus Christ in your private and public behavior with members of your family and others?

Russell M Nelson said, “Individual worthiness requires a total conversion of mind and heart to be more like the Lord.”

Are you an example? What about an Influencer? Influencer: one who exerts influence : a person who inspires or guides the actions of others.

Aren’t we all- Influencers? Whether we influence others to do what’s right or not.  

I want to tell you about two of the most Christlike influencers I know: My parents. My Daddy was not a member of the church until he was a 20 year old in the army, stationed at the Presidio in San Francisco. He joined the church, because he was influenced by another soldier who was a member and who gave him a copy of the Book of Mormon. My Mama grew up a member of the church in Salt Lake City, and was on an adventure working and living with girlfriends in San Francisco.  They met at church and shortly after fell in love. 

After marriage they moved to Utah. All the while living the gospel, and being amazing. They raised a big family by today’s standards, 6 kids. Five boys and one girl. That’s me. 

All parents know that the job is tough. We do our best, but we’re not perfect. My three older brothers struggled living what my parents taught, but were never left out or not included. The influence and love my parents showed was beautiful, and consistent.

I want to tell you about one brother, Keith. He was an alcoholic, a smoker, and a drug addict for most of his adult (young) life. He was finally jailed for a DUI, and would call my parents often begging through tears for them to come get him, all while the parent not talking to him would help the one talking to him be strong. “You need to be there”, they’d say. He was there for 5-6 months. While waiting for the court date, Dad wrote a letter to the judge asking to please be lenient with his ruling and let Keith be released with time served and come home. He could have gone to prison. Thankfully, he was released with an ankle bracelet and allowed to come home to my wonderful parents’ influence and love. FYI there isn’t alcohol, cigarettes or drugs at the county jail. He was clean the day he was released. Maybe seeing his life for the first time since his teen years, sober. The pull of my parents’ love would prove to be greater than the pull of his previous lifestyle. He was able to stay sober and became completely active in the church. He married in the temple, and served in whatever calling he was given. Guess what? He became a righteous influencer to all who knew his previous life. He became a positive influencer because my parents were a positive influence to him. One remaining challenge from using needles with drugs, he had contracted Hep C. His liver began to fail. We were so worried and sad. He had just cleaned up his life! But we all prayed for a miracle. It happened and through a very generous donation Keith received a liver from a donor who had died in a car crash. 

My parents provided Sunday Dinner every week for most of our adult lives for all the extended family. All were invited and most of the time everyone would come. On occasion my kids would  see one of my older brothers smoking out in front of the house. They knew it wasn’t a good thing, and they’d come tell me in a very worried voice. I’d say, “yes your uncle smokes, but that’s not who he is. We love him no matter what he does.” 

My parents went through so much worry with kids whose choices were not what they wanted for them, but their love for them was always greater.  

Even if we understand the idea that we should love people, we sometimes think we’re supposed to love them back onto our path instead of respecting their own journey. I’m not trying to love people into coming with me. I’m just loving people. No expectations, no transaction. They and God will figure out their journey; my job is to love them along the way. -Steve Young

Now, back to my brother Keith. He did great for a while, loving and serving and blessing lots of people, and living as a follower of Christ. He found out that he had throat cancer in 2019, then glioblastoma (brain cancer) in 2020, and passed away in January of 2021.  

I have lost all three of my older brothers, now. They all died young. Their choices and lifestyles quite possibly could have played a part in that. But they always knew they were loved and could receive help at any time from Mom and Dad. The lesson is this. Our job is not to judge. Our job is not to choose for another. Our job is to live the gospel of Jesus Christ in our homes and in our community and in the world. We are all influencers. Living the gospel is the right thing to do, and being a righteous influencer as a result of it is wonderful. I want my legacy to be that I loved everyone, and that I was an example of a believer. When you love, it doesn’t mean you agree, it means you honor their right to choose for themselves. It means we love our non-member or inactive neighbor. It means we continue in faith even when the world is in turmoil.

2 Nephi 31:19 …after ye have gotten into this strait and narrow apath, I would ask if all is bdone? 

20 Wherefore, ye must press forward with a asteadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of bhope, and a clove of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and dendure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eeternal life.  

Jesus said, “Love everyone, treat them kindly too. When your heart is filled with love… (you’ll feel good and true.)” I’m so thankful for the most wonderful influencers in my life, my parents. For their example and influence that has blessed me with the desire to “follow the teachings of The Church of Jesus Christ in my private and public behavior, with family and others.“

The Living Christ

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THE LIVING CHRIST

THE TESTIMONY OF THE APOSTLES

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

As we commemorate the birth of Jesus Christ two millennia ago, we offer our testimony of the reality of His matchless life and the infinite virtue of His great atoning sacrifice. None other has had so profound an influence upon all who have lived and will yet live upon the earth.

He was the Great Jehovah of the Old Testament, the Messiah of the New. Under the direction of His Father, He was the creator of the earth. “All things were made by him; and without him was not any thing made that was made” (John 1:3). Though sinless, He was baptized to fulfill all righteousness. He “went about doing good” (Acts 10:38), yet was despised for it. His gospel was a message of peace and goodwill. He entreated all to follow His example. He walked the roads of Palestine, healing the sick, causing the blind to see, and raising the dead. He taught the truths of eternity, the reality of our premortal existence, the purpose of our life on earth, and the potential for the sons and daughters of God in the life to come.

He instituted the sacrament as a reminder of His great atoning sacrifice. He was arrested and condemned on spurious charges, convicted to satisfy a mob, and sentenced to die on Calvary’s cross. He gave His life to atone for the sins of all mankind. His was a great vicarious gift in behalf of all who would ever live upon the earth.

We solemnly testify that His life, which is central to all human history, neither began in Bethlehem nor concluded on Calvary. He was the Firstborn of the Father, the Only Begotten Son in the flesh, the Redeemer of the world.

He rose from the grave to “become the firstfruits of them that slept” (1 Corinthians 15:20). As Risen Lord, He visited among those He had loved in life. He also ministered among His “other sheep” (John 10:16) in ancient America. In the modern world, He and His Father appeared to the boy Joseph Smith, ushering in the long-promised “dispensation of the fulness of times” (Ephesians 1:10).

Of the Living Christ, the Prophet Joseph wrote: “His eyes were as a flame of fire; the hair of his head was white like the pure snow; his countenance shone above the brightness of the sun; and his voice was as the sound of the rushing of great waters, even the voice of Jehovah, saying:

“I am the first and the last; I am he who liveth, I am he who was slain; I am your advocate with the Father” (D&C 110:3–4).

Of Him the Prophet also declared: “And now, after the many testimonies which have been given of him, this is the testimony, last of all, which we give of him: That he lives!

“For we saw him, even on the right hand of God; and we heard the voice bearing record that he is the Only Begotten of the Father—

“That by him, and through him, and of him, the worlds are and were created, and the inhabitants thereof are begotten sons and daughters unto God” (D&C 76:22–24).

We declare in words of solemnity that His priesthood and His Church have been restored upon the earth—“built upon the foundation of … apostles and prophets, Jesus Christ himself being the chief corner stone” (Ephesians 2:20).

We testify that He will someday return to earth. “And the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together” (Isaiah 40:5). He will rule as King of Kings and reign as Lord of Lords, and every knee shall bend and every tongue shall speak in worship before Him. Each of us will stand to be judged of Him according to our works and the desires of our hearts.

We bear testimony, as His duly ordained Apostles—that Jesus is the Living Christ, the immortal Son of God. He is the great King Immanuel, who stands today on the right hand of His Father. He is the light, the life, and the hope of the world. His way is the path that leads to happiness in this life and eternal life in the world to come. God be thanked for the matchless gift of His divine Son.

First Presidency. 1995. Signatures
January 1, 2000

THE QUORUM OF THE TWELVE

Sorrow

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It seems that sorrow is a big part of life these days. In the middle of the sorrow is incredible joy. In one of the first posts on this blog I talked about the brothers that I’ve been blessed with. If you’d like to read a little more about them click in the search window and type in “brothers”.

I am the only daughter and I have five brothers in the family I grew up in. I have wonderful parents who did a great job raising us to be good people. We are a typical family that has typical challenges. As my older brothers grew up they went down different paths. Each of us chose and our parents never stopped loving all of us or being proud of the amazing humans we became. I watched them choose their path and watched how some of their choices affected their lives, sometimes it was hard to watch. I still think the world of them. I learned so much from them.

My oldest brother Brian was 46 when he passed away, hiking with family on a trail in a nearby canyon. He had a heart attack and died on the trail. We were devastated and so sad to lose our son and brother at such a young age. But the tender mercies and spirit of God told us he is in a good place with loved ones. Free from some of the addictions of a mortal life. My sister-in-law calls death the “Ultimate Rehab.” Truth.

My second oldest brother Brad was 59 when he passed away from cancer. He was a very tender soul whose love for family was immense. To protect his tender soul he had built a wall almost impenetrable by most. He was a very responsible and hard working man. A great provider. I was able to talk to him two days before he was put on a ventilator and tell him I love him. That was a tender mercy. I know he is in a good place with loved ones including our brother Brian.

My wonderful, beloved Father passed away in August 2019. 85 years old, after having lived an amazing life. His passing was not a complete surprise, but nevertheless devastating. I miss him everyday. I will miss him until I get to be with him again. However looking at his life I’m so grateful for him, and for his example of service and love. He was a gentle, kind and loving soul. He was a powerful defender of our Savior and other prophets. His life is his legacy. It is epic. I know he is in a good place and with loved ones including our brothers Brian and Brad.

My third oldest brother Keith, and the one just 1 and 1/2 years older than me just passed away in January. He is my miracle brother. He chose a tough life for a while smoking, drinking, using drugs and missing out on all of the wonderful blessings of being a contributor to this world. After a short stint in jail, he cleaned himself up and came home. He was in his 30’s and back home with Mama and Daddy. Thankfully the judge in his case saw some potential. He changed his life. He quit his bad habits and started a righteous course. One lingering effect of drug use was that he contracted Hepatitis C from sharing needles. His liver was suffering and he needed a new one. Thankfully, because of his life changes he was a candidate for one. In July 2007 he received a donor liver from a wonderful young man who had died in a car crash, Nathan.

Life seemed to be going great minus the usual challenges until a year an a half ago when Keith found a lump in his neck. Cancer was found, surgery and a year spent trying natural remedies. I think we were all scared of the chemo and radiation that our brother Brad had been through. He seemed to be doing fine, for a year then he started having trouble with simple tasks. He couldn’t remember how to do up his pants, or how to use his phone. He had trouble driving. He got a really bad headache one day so his wife took him to the ER. Brain cancer was found. It was aggressive and would be terminal. He had it removed and started treatment…then hospice.

He lost some of the use of his left side, and would call me often to trim his nails. He was always wanting to get back to work. He called me the day before losing consciousness to drive him around looking for real estate opportunities. I would usually just talk him through it and say lets do that tomorrow or next week. Then the call, “Keith is having trouble breathing.” He died the next morning. Tender mercies: he was able to see many family member and was aware they were there and gave hugs to them, most often calling them by name before hugging them. He was optimistic to the end. He tried to get out of bed, I asked him, “Where are you going?” trying to hang onto him so he wouldn’t fall or leave the bed he was attached to and he said,
“I’m going to heaven!” One of his last wishes was to donate his body to science. He had a great love for the donor program. His wish happened shortly after he passed. He is my miracle brother, and I know he is in a good place and with loved ones including my brothers Brian, Brad, and my Daddy.

I have felt so much sorrow this last little while. I have felt peace. I know that Father in Heaven and our Savior are close and aware of our sorrows

From a beloved Hymn,

He answers privately, Reaches my reaching
In my Gethsemane, Savior and Friend.
Gentle the peace he finds for my beseeching.
Constant he is and kind, Love without end.

I love my brothers and my Daddy, and I find incredible joy in knowing I will see them again someday.

Families are Forever!

A New Normal.

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A month ago, my normal changed. My daily thoughts, the things I worry about, my sorrow, my tears all became about one thing; my Daddy. He passed away. He has left a giant hole in my life and the lives of our family members. When someone you love is gone from your days, and the time becomes greater since you saw them last, it is sometimes overwhelming, and you just have to stop whatever you’re doing and cry. He is, and always has been, the most wonderful man I know. His life and contribution to this world was significant. He left things, and places, and situations better than he found them. People were always touched by his love and sensitivity to them and their welfare. He worked hard all his life. He served others and made contributions that are still blessing those he loved. He wrote stories and histories and shared them with everyone. He served our country. He loves our Father in Heaven, our Savior, and has a testimony of the Restored Gospel of Jesus Christ. His example is one that I will work the rest of my life to try to emulate.

When I heard the news, I was devastated, but not surprised. He has struggled with a heart wearing out for years. It finally said, “Enough, you’ve done enough.” He was traveling with my little brother, and his wife, and her parents when he passed. I knew that they would be sad, wondering if the trip was too much, but I believe it was a great send off. They traveled up the west coast of the United States, starting at San Fransisco where my parents met, and ended up in Victoria, Canada. While traveling home, they planned to visit my Dad’s older sister, his only living sibling. He passed away at her home. He may have been holding on to see her. My sweet Mama came home without him, and now will be there in their home without him. She is heart broken. Their 64th anniversary was the week after he passed.

The funeral was wonderful. How could it not be? When you celebrate the life of someone like my Dad, it really is a celebration! Many came to pay their respects. Many had stories about how my Daddy had blessed their life, or how much they admired him, or how something he did at the Family History Center was inspired. It was wonderful to hear stories about how great he is to others. And now we just mourn, and try to get used to life without him here.

I really feel that time spent with family is the most important way to spend time. I will miss time spent with my Dad for the rest of my life. I will miss seeing him most every Sunday for dinner. I will miss our monthly dates, and cutting his hair, and trimming his beard. I will miss him calling and my Daddy’s ring tone of Louis Armstrong’s “What a Wonderful World”, playing. When I hear that song, I can’t help thinking about him.

I worry about my sweet Mama. “Is she ok?” “I better call her and check on her.” “I need to take her to lunch.” “What can I do to love her and help her?” These, and more, are all thoughts in my mind several times a day. She’s seems to be doing quite well. Amazingly well.

I am thankful for our strong family bond. I am so thankful that I know that he loves our family and that we love him. We saw him often, and tell each other all the time how much we love each other.

The times I struggle most are when I’m feeling sorry for me. I believe with all my heart that my Daddy is in a better place. He is happy and very busy doing great things and blessing others. Before he passed, he was uncomfortable and frustrated that he couldn’t do what he used to be able to do. He can do anything now. He is at peace and so are we because he lived a great life. His legacy is one of love, service, sacrifice, work, developing talents, faith in God, righteousness, and having fun while he did it all. At the very center of his life was his sweetheart, my Mama, and family. We will all be together in heaven some day.

I love him, and I’m so grateful he is my Daddy.

Happy Anniversary!

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My Darlin and I have been married for 34 years.

I’m so grateful for him.

He is definitely a keeper.

Some of the things we’ve learned in the years we’ve been married are what keep us married. Being married is work. It is full of challenges, frustrations, complete happiness, disappointment, and feeling loved. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Things I’ve learned in 34 years:

  1. He means more to me now, because of all we’ve been through together. Never give up on your relationship. Going through tough times together, helps us grow closer.
  2. It’s best to lower your expectations. Seriously. It’s true you have to sometimes anticipate how a certain situation will happen in order to mentally prepare for it, but don’t have grandiose ideas. The way romantic movies show relationships is not real life. Guys don’t think like that, most the time.
  3. Sometimes we all make mistakes. One time my hubby bought a car without talking to me about it first. The reason is too much information to share in this post, and I may tell the story in a future post, but that was very difficult on our marriage, and we both learned some very important lesson’s. Make sure your feelings are heard and then forgive.
  4. Love him for who he is, and don’t try to change him. He shouldn’t want to try to change you either. If changes are made, we make them together by setting goals and working on doing our best, together.
  5. Appreciate his gifts, and talents. My darlin loves sports, and he is good at all sports. Me? Not so much, and I don’t enjoy them as much as he does. So I let him know if I want to do something different while he is enjoying what he loves. He does his thing, and I do mine.
  6. Compartments. Men have compartments. Little mental places saved for what they are doing at the moment. I learned this at a marriage conference we went to and it is one of the most helpful things I’ve ever learned. When he is at work, he is in his work compartment. So if I say to him, “Did you miss me/think about me today, at work?” The answer is, “No.” He was thinking about work. I’m ok with this, it makes sense to me. So I don’t ask. I feel happy he is doing his job and providing for us. When he’s with me, he is in the “Joy” compartment. Yes, he is thinking about me. I love it when he is thinking about me. I think about him many times throughout the day. That’s what women do, and that’s ok too.
  7. Physical touch is important, but not the most important. It is almost always more important to a man than a women. Knowing that, I love to be close to him, and I’m considerate about his needs. Because he loves me, he is considerate about my needs.
  8. When you get older, new challenges appear. We have been married for 34 years. My mom and dad have been married almost 64 years. Things you’ve never dealt with in your life together become part of the journey. My father-in-law had Alzheimer’s. I’m sure my mother-in-law had no idea she would have to learn how to love her sweetheart in a whole new way after 50 years of marriage. I admire older couples who love each other through thick and thin. Staying positive and having a sense of humor during the aging process is important.
  9. A sense of humor is very helpful. I really love to laugh. It’s a great core work out! When frustrating things happen in our day to day routines, try to see the humor. Sometimes it takes years for an experience to become funny, but they almost always do. Don’t be overly sensitive about experiences. “Let it go.” as the Disney movie says.
  10. Gratitude. Honestly gratitude is the best way to make it through almost anything. You don’t have to be rich to be grateful. God gives us little blessings everyday. When our “Most Quoted” son Alex was serving his LDS mission to South Africa we saw that life can be very difficult and there are still blessings all around. The children in the orphanages in Swaziland were some of the happiest children. I love gratitude so much, because no matter what is happening in your marriage and life, you can always choose to be grateful. It is an eternal gift given by Father in Heaven to choose. I choose to be grateful for a wonderful husband, and marriage. I know I’m blessed to have the opportunity to have a sweetheart and create a family. That is what life is about.

Bonus: The most important thing I’ve learned is that God wants our marriage to be successful. He is a part of our everyday. We ask Him to bless our marriage, and help us to be patient and loving, and happy together. If you include God in your marriage He will bless you. Ask yourself if how you treat your spouse is ok with Him. If it’s not, do better. If it is, continue on in your wonderful journey.

Happy Anniversary to the best man for me! I love you sweetie! Thanks for being my darlin!

Worry, and Sadness.

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I’m so sorry I haven’t written a post for so long. Some people work through their feelings, by sharing them. I usually need time to process.

My dad had a heart valve replaced in February.

I consider myself a faithful person, but I know that even people who are faithful and trust in God still have to experience things that are hard. Things that they don’t want to have to go through. I worried and worried about my dad, and how his life, and our lives might change if the surgery didn’t go well. He made it through the surgery and is doing good. I am so grateful for that. Both of my parents are in their 80’s, so their health and well being is on my mind a lot.

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My brother was diagnosed with cancer in December.

It was a surprise and took it’s toll on my brothers body and was very upsetting and frustrating to our family. What is the diagnosis? What is the prognosis? What is the treatment? Prayers, and fasting, were an ongoing ritual for us. My brother received priesthood blessings and continued to fight, but it was not meant for him to stay.

He passed away on March 15th.

Our family is heart broken. He was such a wonderful soul. Such a hard working good man. He left us way to soon. He was 59 years old. He had so much life left to live, so many things left to do, and so much love to share. We will miss him so much.

I am still so sad. I have a strong testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ, of the Plan of Salvation, but this is the part I don’t like. I don’t like it when we have to be separated by death from those we love. I believe with all my heart that we will be with our brother, son, husband dad, and grandpa, Brad someday again. I will just miss him so much until that day. I am so grateful that part of our Heavenly Father’s plan is that we come to earth as part of a family. I feel so blessed to grow up in the family that my brothers are a part of, with our wonderful parents. They are the ones I was supposed to be with while learning some of my life lesson’s. I will always be thankful for that, but I don’t want to be without them for the rest of my life. Now I have lost two of my brothers.

I am thankful for the opportunity to have this earthly experience. To grow up in a family with wonderful parents. It’s just hard when our family changes because someone has passed on.

“We cannot fully appreciate joyful reunions later without tearful separations now. The only way to take sorrow out of death is to take love out of life.” Russell M Nelson