As a child my play time was spent riding my tricycle, then my bicycle, riding down the hill in my red wagon, or playing school with my dolls and stuffed animals. I would line them all up on the living room furniture and teach them the important things in life like the alphabet and how to count. When I got older play time was kick the can in the street or any other neighborhood game, calling boys- who had suddenly become “cute” sometimes hanging up before saying anything, swimming at our neighbors house, or horseback riding with my best friend. We rode horses almost every week. All of these things were so fun.
For many years in my youth I spend at least a few hours a day doing gymnastics. I would consider this play, because it was my favorite thing to do. I would never be an Olympic gymast, or even compete at a state level. I was ok with that, I was having a blast and loving all the time I was able to spend doing gymnastics. I had mastered a round off and several back hand springs, and also a round off-hand springs and then a back tuck. I could do some tricks or stunts on all of the apparatus, but not a lot of tricks. I could do quite a bit of tricks on the trampoline. I could spend hours on a trampoline. It was such fun.
When I started dating my sweetheart, we did sport activities while on dates. It was amazing to me how good he is at everything; tennis, racket ball, skiing, golf, ping pong, and so on. When we would play together I often got frustrated, because I was so bad at all of these things. It was plain to see that he was enjoying himself while playing more than me.
As the years of our marriage have gone by, I have grown more interested in accomplishing projects, like sewing, and working on keeping our memories organized. At this point in my life, this is play. If I ever have a few hours or even a few days, I will spend it scrapbooking, or making something.
Sometimes I send my Darlin off to play a sport with friends while I “play” in the office working on the memories of our lives, or sewing a fun project for our home. It’s amazing how through the years what is considered fun changes. I’m glad it does, and so it should.
We were married August 7, 1985, and just a few months after we were married I became pregnant with our first son. It was a time of excitement looking forward to becoming parents. I worked 20 or so hours a week doing hair at a Command Performance Salon. I was getting used to carrying around a little more weight, and would sometimes have to relax after work by putting my feet up. All feelings, events, and plans seemed to revolve around this little human that would join our family in July 1986. It’s amazing how much you can’t plan or know.
Meanwhile…
The world was busy with all sorts of things. One thing that came up often on the news was that NASA had picked a teacher, Christa McAuliffe to go into space with the astronauts and teach lessons to the students here, on earth. I believe it was a contest to encourage interest in the space program. The world had grown indifferent to the space program, and having this sweet, wonderful woman volunteer to be a part of all that being an astronaut is, made the whole country excited. We all watched for months as the astronauts and the teacher prepared for the day they would take off and share the whole thing with all of us interested people.
As the day approached for take off, there were issues. Things happened that prevented them taking off. One issue that I remember was kind of silly, and I really wondered if they were supposed to go! The hatch door wouldn’t close, and they finally just cut the hinge to get the astronauts out and wait for another day.
On the day they ended up going, the temperature was unseasonably cold for Florida. There were ice cycles all over the launch pad and the space shuttle. The people at NASA were concerned, the people at Thoikol, a Utah based company that made the rocket boosters were concerned, everyone involved with the decision to take off or not were wondering what to do.
The decision was made that the shuttle would go.
The shuttle Challenger took off. Everything seemed fine. The family and students all watching the launch, when there seemed to be an explosion and the different parts- the shuttle, the rocket boosters and the external fuel tank all seemed to separate and everyone just sat there staring. Some with their mouths open, some with a puzzled look on their face. The men at the NASA headquarters even looked shocked. One of the men said, “Obviously a major malfunction.”
The Challenger was gone, it broke apart. With everyone watching, devastated.
I was at work on the day the Challenger disaster happened. Once the world knew what had happened the news networks talked about it a lot. It was so hard to watch. It was so sad to see the family members and know that many schools had students watching when this happened. Can you imagine how the world changed that day. All of those young souls seeing such a tragedy in real time. I will never forget. When I got home from work I sat with my feet propped up and watched repeat after repeat of what happened. Our country was so sad. Our country had lost 7 brave souls in the blink of an eye. They were here, then they were not.
Life is tough. It’s not fair. I feel such sorrow for those whose lives changes forever on that day.
Riley was born on July 19th 1986, almost six months after the disaster. He changed our lives and blessed our days. He had a birthday and became a one year old. He had another birthday and became a two year old. He was saying words and noticing everything. He discovered airplanes, only he called them Maymay’s.
On the morning of September 29, 1988 Riley and I watched the Space Shuttle Discovery launch on the TV. It had almost been three years since the Challenger disaster. I’m sure he pointed at the the TV and said, “Maymay!” I told him how important it was that Discovery took off and had a successful trip. The five crew members would make it home to see their families.
I cried when I watched the launch of Discovery, just like I cried when I watched the Challenger.
The type of people who become astronauts and even a teacher who are willing to fly to space to teach a lesson or two are the kind of people who make me proud of our country and proud of the best part of humanity. They will to do amazing things and they’re not afraid to pay the ultimate price for it.
I’m the kind of person who looks up to those kind of people. I watch in awe of their bravery. I love and share what they do with my children and shed a tear and feel sad when it doesn’t work out. I also feel such happiness and gratitude when it does work out!
I’m not sure why, but I have a really hard time leaving. You could call it a phobia. Maybe it’s because I’m a homebody and spend most of my time at home. So on the rare occasion that I get the opportunity to leave for a period of time, or go on a fun trip, I have a really hard time leaving. My eyes fill up with tears and I feel incredible sorrow and concern-wondering how things will go, when I’ll make it back or if I’ll make it back.
I had someone tell me once- while helping me work through some of the challenges I was dealing with, that they felt or had an impression that when it was time to come to earth and leave my heavenly home, I didn’t want to leave there either. That doesn’t surprise me! and I believe it. I’m sure I knew, as much as one can know, that life would be hard and have challenges and I loved being with Father in heaven and others there that I love. And maybe that’s part of it. Time with those I love is at the top of my list of favorites. It might be a little bit codependent…I’ve always believed I need them, maybe more than they need me.
It might have to do with control and trust. When I leave home, I hope the car works good, that we make it to our destination without being stuck in the middle of nowhere. I hope we don’t have a wreck. When flying, I hope the pilot is a good one. I usually kiss the plane with my hand on the way in and pray for the pilot. But, I’m not in charge, I have to trust others to help me get to my destination. (Not that I could fly a plane, or that I want to do it)
When I talk to others about this phobia about leaving they are very surprised that I have such a hard time. While talking about it with my brother and sister in law one time we came to the conclusion that part of the problem is that I rarely leave. My sister in law travels all the time for work. These family members travel a lot for fun and have been many places in the world. They have no problem leaving.
Maybe” practice makes perfect!”
The thing is I don’t need to leave home. I am homemaker and I love to be here and we really can’t afford to travel much. So for now, leaving may have to continue to be tough. I feel like it has improved through the years. I may even have a tough time leaving this experience called life when the time comes, even though I know there is family and loved ones on the other side waiting to see me after my time here is done. I will just keep doing my best and leaving when I get the chance to travel and visit and see the world.
My favorite season is autumn. I was born in November, I think I must have asked if I could arrive on the planet during this beautiful season. I was born on the 10th, my favorite number. I love the crisp fall air, the beautiful colors of fall, especially the leaves. The rustling of leaves as they fall from the tree is such a splendid sound. When growing up and also raising our kids Halloween was the best and most fun-making costumes and having celebrations. It is fun to see the neighbor children when they trick or treat at the door. They always sound so excited and act so anxious to get the candy!
One year we were in New York City on Halloween, we saw how the people do it there. They closed down a block of homes (brownstones) and just have a carnival. A lot of the parents dress up with the kids. One family all dressed up as The Incredibles. They had realistic costumes and it was cute to see the kids dressed up with their masks, and the baby riding in a stroller.
I love Carmel apples, pumpkin pie, hot chocolate, apple cider, Halloween candy, and cinnamon, anything. Cinnamon flavor, cinnamon smell, cinnamon ice cream…yes that exists. A favorite of mine is watching a fun or scary movie snuggled under a quilt with snacks.
Autumn is just cool, beautiful, happy and fun!!
“Autumn…the year’s last loveliest smile.” -William Cullen Bryant
When I think of places that I enjoy spending time, they are always near water. Water has a way of soothing and calming my inner turmoil. I feel close to God when I am near water. The sound, especially if it is just a small sound, like a brook trickling along.
I guess if it is a big sound that reminds me of God too, but mostly His power and majesty. Standing at the edge of a large waterfall is scary, but breath taking. I have to hang on tight to something for fear I’ll go over with the water. So big water may not be a favorite, but it’s still very amazing.
When I was a child, at our home in the country, we lived near a brook–or creek as I called it. I would go there almost every day. It was very near our home, maybe 50 yards away. Trees grew along the banks of the creek, but there were open spaces too, where the sun shown down through to the water. The sun made the water sparkle and shine as it traveled. I loved the sound, the tinkling and bubbling sound it made as the water ran past. I loved watching the water. Sometimes a small leaf or twig would be carried down the stream and then get caught for a second. Other times I would send a little leaf boat down and follow it for a bit. At certain times I would see tadpoles or tiny fish. The creek would end up down the hill at a small pond we used to go to sometimes as well. I loved watching the tiny living creatures moving a long knowing they were headed to bigger and better places.
I would lay on my tummy and put my chin on the hands and watch, listen, and think. The creek was a sacred place to me. Away from others, and away from concerns. I felt my Heavenly Father close there. I felt loved. It was quiet, except for the sounds of nature all around me. A bird could be heard, or a breeze that blew through the trees. This place and how I felt there reminds me to “Be still.”
In the Bible, Psalms 46:10 says, “Be still, and know that I am God.”
I felt such a calmness at the little creek, that to this day, if I have a minute to sit near water, I am right back there, feeling love and calm, and oh so, grateful for my Father in Heaven, tiny things, and my knowledge that He is God, aware and loving us.
I’m ok with my sense of smell being ok. Smell is wonderful if it is a beautiful bouquet of flowers, or a wonderfully prepared dinner. Maybe not so wonderful if you work at the sewage treatment plant.
As I’ve gone through life, I’ve had a few times when my sense of smell has brought me back to a memory from my life. Coming in the door at my parents the smell of a roast cooking in the oven always reminds me of sharing wonderful Sundays together as a family. The smell of freshly cut grass reminds me of busy Saturday afternoons feeling accomplished that the day was a success, and we got all our chores done. The smell of a perm will always bring back memories of the time I spent in cosmetology school. The smell of a crisp fall day, with a tinge of some type of hard wood burning in someones wood burning stove, reminds me of hot chocolate and pumpkin carving. The smell of a new shower curtain liner reminds me of getting a new baby doll on Christmas morning. The smell of lilacs in spring is tops and can’t be beat!
I worked at a flower shop a few years back and loved it. At first the smell of flowers was overpowering. I can tell you my favorite smelling flowers: roses, stock, freesia, and the smell of eucalyptus, or evergreen at Christmas are divine. After a bit of time, I wasn’t smelling the flowers much. When someone would walk into the shop they would say, “Wow, this place smells amazing!” When we would tell them we couldn’t smell the flowers anymore they’d be so surprised. Then one customer came in and we had the conversation about the smell, or lack of smell, they said they have a friend who works at the sewer treatment facility who can’t smell the waste anymore. I think that is a blessing. I did daycare off and on in my life, and one thing that I considered a blessing was that I didn’t smell poopy diapers. I would have to make an effort to check the babies diapers often, because the smell never alerted me that they would need to be changed.
I’m not saying that my olfactory doesn’t work, but I’m thankful it doesn’t work super great. I’m grateful it works ok.
This beautiful little girl is my granddaughter, Willow! Livin her best life!!
We have a beautiful tree in the middle of our back yard. It provides us with wonderful shade. Even though the shade is wonderful, we had to cut a limb off so the garden could get enough sun. So I asked my darlin if we could leave part of the limb for a swing.
I have been wanting one of those big round swings that can hold a lot of grandkids/weight. We installed the swing with heavy duty rope, so even in my fluffy, jolly grandma state I can ride on the swing.
The anticipation was real.
When my turn came, I walked backward slowly preparing for take off, and lifted my legs.
Oh the rapture!
The swift movement forward of the swing was exhilarating! I laid back, and crossed my legs on the swing, and closed my eyes. The sun was high in the sky overhead, so I closed my eyes for a few moments to feel the sensations through my body. The movement forward and back was a feeling of freedom unlike the usual feeling of being stuck to the earth, feeling slow with heavy steps. With my eyes closed I could still feel and see the light from the sun. It made a yellow-reddish color through my eyelids with the dapples of shadows from clouds and other branches above. My body was a mixture of cool from the movement and warm from the heat of the sun.
Oh, how I love the sun, and the feeling of the cool breeze passing by is wonderful as well. The view when my eyes were open was just as wonderful. Seeing the sun break through the trees limbs, the bright blue sky with white puffy clouds. What a treat! What a fun and relaxing place to ride.
Memories of yesterday, and new feelings of gratitude and love for this beautiful world, the tree, the sun and the sky. All of these could be felt and appreciated because of big round swing.
We have been blessed with an adorable granddaughter!
This sweet little “small fry” is our newest granddaughter!
We are so happy and in love with her. She was born the day after my brother passed away.
It is the truest example of the circle of life. We come, stay for a little while, and then we go. I am so grateful for new life. This sweet little one is our 7th grand baby. She has a smile that fills her whole body!
I love the blessing of being parents, grandparents, and part of a family.
It seems that sorrow is a big part of life these days. In the middle of the sorrow is incredible joy. In one of the first posts on this blog I talked about the brothers that I’ve been blessed with. If you’d like to read a little more about them click in the search window and type in “brothers”.
I am the only daughter and I have five brothers in the family I grew up in. I have wonderful parents who did a great job raising us to be good people. We are a typical family that has typical challenges. As my older brothers grew up they went down different paths. Each of us chose and our parents never stopped loving all of us or being proud of the amazing humans we became. I watched them choose their path and watched how some of their choices affected their lives, sometimes it was hard to watch. I still think the world of them. I learned so much from them.
My oldest brother Brian was 46 when he passed away, hiking with family on a trail in a nearby canyon. He had a heart attack and died on the trail. We were devastated and so sad to lose our son and brother at such a young age. But the tender mercies and spirit of God told us he is in a good place with loved ones. Free from some of the addictions of a mortal life. My sister-in-law calls death the “Ultimate Rehab.” Truth.
My second oldest brother Brad was 59 when he passed away from cancer. He was a very tender soul whose love for family was immense. To protect his tender soul he had built a wall almost impenetrable by most. He was a very responsible and hard working man. A great provider. I was able to talk to him two days before he was put on a ventilator and tell him I love him. That was a tender mercy. I know he is in a good place with loved ones including our brother Brian.
My wonderful, beloved Father passed away in August 2019. 85 years old, after having lived an amazing life. His passing was not a complete surprise, but nevertheless devastating. I miss him everyday. I will miss him until I get to be with him again. However looking at his life I’m so grateful for him, and for his example of service and love. He was a gentle, kind and loving soul. He was a powerful defender of our Savior and other prophets. His life is his legacy. It is epic. I know he is in a good place and with loved ones including our brothers Brian and Brad.
My third oldest brother Keith, and the one just 1 and 1/2 years older than me just passed away in January. He is my miracle brother. He chose a tough life for a while smoking, drinking, using drugs and missing out on all of the wonderful blessings of being a contributor to this world. After a short stint in jail, he cleaned himself up and came home. He was in his 30’s and back home with Mama and Daddy. Thankfully the judge in his case saw some potential. He changed his life. He quit his bad habits and started a righteous course. One lingering effect of drug use was that he contracted Hepatitis C from sharing needles. His liver was suffering and he needed a new one. Thankfully, because of his life changes he was a candidate for one. In July 2007 he received a donor liver from a wonderful young man who had died in a car crash, Nathan.
Life seemed to be going great minus the usual challenges until a year an a half ago when Keith found a lump in his neck. Cancer was found, surgery and a year spent trying natural remedies. I think we were all scared of the chemo and radiation that our brother Brad had been through. He seemed to be doing fine, for a year then he started having trouble with simple tasks. He couldn’t remember how to do up his pants, or how to use his phone. He had trouble driving. He got a really bad headache one day so his wife took him to the ER. Brain cancer was found. It was aggressive and would be terminal. He had it removed and started treatment…then hospice.
He lost some of the use of his left side, and would call me often to trim his nails. He was always wanting to get back to work. He called me the day before losing consciousness to drive him around looking for real estate opportunities. I would usually just talk him through it and say lets do that tomorrow or next week. Then the call, “Keith is having trouble breathing.” He died the next morning. Tender mercies: he was able to see many family member and was aware they were there and gave hugs to them, most often calling them by name before hugging them. He was optimistic to the end. He tried to get out of bed, I asked him, “Where are you going?” trying to hang onto him so he wouldn’t fall or leave the bed he was attached to and he said, “I’m going to heaven!” One of his last wishes was to donate his body to science. He had a great love for the donor program. His wish happened shortly after he passed. He is my miracle brother, and I know he is in a good place and with loved ones including my brothers Brian, Brad, and my Daddy.
I have felt so much sorrow this last little while. I have felt peace. I know that Father in Heaven and our Savior are close and aware of our sorrows
From a beloved Hymn,
He answers privately, Reaches my reaching In my Gethsemane, Savior and Friend. Gentle the peace he finds for my beseeching. Constant he is and kind, Love without end.
I love my brothers and my Daddy, and I find incredible joy in knowing I will see them again someday.
This last year had a lot of challenges, but one really sweet and wonderful blessing was getting a new grandbaby boy!!
Our “Most Quoted” Alex and his sweet wife Amber became parents to this adorable little guy in August. He is such a blessing to our family and I’m so grateful he is here.
