Category Archives: My Life Stories!

COVID-19

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It’s been a tough year in our world.

I’m sure you know.

I have to put an extra amount of effort in to just getting through the day sometimes. The world feels like it is in chaos. So much going on, but it all started for me with Covid-19. This virus has been making its way around the world causing death and heartache. Covid-19 stands for “Co” Corona, “Vi” Virus, and “D” disease. 19 is the year the virus came out. I don’t like that. So-

Aren’t acronyms great?

Looking at the acronym which holds so many negative and frustrating feelings, I made a choice to change what COVID-19 means to me. It doesn’t make it go away, or change the things associated with it, but it helps me focus on what “I” can do. I get to choose how I feel and what I’m going to do inside with the worry, sadness, frustration, and anger I feel about this year. So here is what COVID-19 means to me…

Choose Optimism & Valor In Distress 19

19 is a prime number- only divisible by the number 1 and itself.

Number one is God in my life. “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” Philippians 4:13. I know God is very aware of what is going on right now. I know He’s OK with us having hard things happen sometimes. We need it. It reminds us what’s most important in life. It’s not stuff, or popularity. It’s not running around busy, busy, busy. It helps us grow in ways He wants us to grow.

What can I do?

I have been reminded and I am grateful for the reminder to slow down, spend time on loving my family and loving myself. When I think that 19 is prime, only divisible with “1” which I will focus on as God, and “itself”, that’s me. What can I do? And I decided to set 19 goals to accomplish this year and on, depending on when the goals are accomplished and when the virus is gone.

1-Slow down-Stop, sit still, think. What is God telling me about my life. What is my body trying to tell me. Am I listening to my intuition or the spirit tell me how best to go forward. There is a peace that comes with feeling connected to a higher power. He knows everything, I know not much. I love being lead. I feel calm when I think of Heavenly Father and my Savior. I feel their love and peace. Slowing down is very helpful.

2-Be grateful-Always look for the blessings in life. It is amazing how many tiny insignificant things I see, feel, or notice on a daily basis that lets me know there is order in the chaos. I have a gratitude journal, it is super helpful as a reminder to be grateful.

3-Spend time with my spouse, reminding each other what we love about each other-Busyness is one of the enemies of a great marriage. You really need to make time for each other and work on loving each other. Ask yourself, “Why did I marry him/her?” and appreciate those things again. Look for growth and service. My sweetie has served me in many ways through the years and I love him for it. We need to laugh and have fun with each other. Since we live in the same house and the virus can’t stop us from being together, we have had a lot of time to laugh and love each other.

4-Reading my scriptures everyday-I have been reading for my whole life, and I never get tired of it. There is always something new to learn. I love that about the scriptures.

5-Having meaningful church at home-We’re still working on the meaningful. I love Zooming sacrament meeting in my PJ’s. That’s something I never thought I’d be able to do. I would miss it, if it weren’t for Zoom. Thank you, Zoom people.

6-Organizing our home-Cleaning out closets, organizing memorabilia. I refer to this as, “Getting a grip.” Still working on it.

7-Going through old pictures-What a fun activity!! Looking through pictures of our sweet children when they were little, and sharing fun old pictures with each other through text.

8-Writing notes and letters to loved ones-I love getting letters. I try to write notes to those I love and let them know I love and appreciate them.

9-Donating to charities-After I go through the closets and realize I don’t need all this stuff, I make an appointment and donate it.

10-Gathering in a careful way-this is easier in the summer, or warmer weather. We can still space out and wear masks, like meeting at the park. Everywhere we’ve gone for a drive or to get away form the usual this year, has been packed with people, canyons, lakes, Spiral Jetty’s. I think we’re all thinking the same thing, get out in nature and gather carefully.

11-Family History-Oh, how I love my ancestors! I need to spend more time on them. I love the technology that allows me to do family history from home. I love learning and knowing about their lives and what they went through. It helps me to be grateful and know that I can do hard things, too.

12-Scrapbooks-These will always be necessary in my life. I love keeping a record of what we’re doing each year, and remembering events that mean so much in our lives. I’ll always do this!

13-Deep clean our house-Still doing this, but its definitely a source of feeling good.

14-Movie marathons, games, and laughing-Harry Potter, Scrabble, and others. Good times. There is something about watching a whole series or all the seasons from a show or movie that is satisfying. Great fun!

15-Build a greenhouse with my Darlin-I’ve always wanted a greenhouse. Me and my Darlin worked on this beautiful greenhouse all summer long. Many hours of love and creativity went into building this “She-shed”! My Darlin loves me!

16-Help my Mama-shopping for her, or with her if it’s not crowded, and sharing lunch together, listening and sharing what is going on in both of our lives since Daddy passed away.

17-Simplify-What matters most. What is the best thing/s I can do with today? It makes a difference to really think about my time.

18-Be productive everyday-I struggle when I’m sad/overwhelmed/super bummed. It is all I can do to get a shower and do the dishes, somedays. I do my best and that is enough.

19–Choose optimism & valor in distress! I love that even though I struggle with depression, I still have a desire to be happy, and productive. I push myself to do it, and am always glad I did.

I hope that the way I have chosen to look at COVID-19 is a help to you too.

We can do it!

A New Normal.

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A month ago, my normal changed. My daily thoughts, the things I worry about, my sorrow, my tears all became about one thing; my Daddy. He passed away. He has left a giant hole in my life and the lives of our family members. When someone you love is gone from your days, and the time becomes greater since you saw them last, it is sometimes overwhelming, and you just have to stop whatever you’re doing and cry. He is, and always has been, the most wonderful man I know. His life and contribution to this world was significant. He left things, and places, and situations better than he found them. People were always touched by his love and sensitivity to them and their welfare. He worked hard all his life. He served others and made contributions that are still blessing those he loved. He wrote stories and histories and shared them with everyone. He served our country. He loves our Father in Heaven, our Savior, and has a testimony of the Restored Gospel of Jesus Christ. His example is one that I will work the rest of my life to try to emulate.

When I heard the news, I was devastated, but not surprised. He has struggled with a heart wearing out for years. It finally said, “Enough, you’ve done enough.” He was traveling with my little brother, and his wife, and her parents when he passed. I knew that they would be sad, wondering if the trip was too much, but I believe it was a great send off. They traveled up the west coast of the United States, starting at San Fransisco where my parents met, and ended up in Victoria, Canada. While traveling home, they planned to visit my Dad’s older sister, his only living sibling. He passed away at her home. He may have been holding on to see her. My sweet Mama came home without him, and now will be there in their home without him. She is heart broken. Their 64th anniversary was the week after he passed.

The funeral was wonderful. How could it not be? When you celebrate the life of someone like my Dad, it really is a celebration! Many came to pay their respects. Many had stories about how my Daddy had blessed their life, or how much they admired him, or how something he did at the Family History Center was inspired. It was wonderful to hear stories about how great he is to others. And now we just mourn, and try to get used to life without him here.

I really feel that time spent with family is the most important way to spend time. I will miss time spent with my Dad for the rest of my life. I will miss seeing him most every Sunday for dinner. I will miss our monthly dates, and cutting his hair, and trimming his beard. I will miss him calling and my Daddy’s ring tone of Louis Armstrong’s “What a Wonderful World”, playing. When I hear that song, I can’t help thinking about him.

I worry about my sweet Mama. “Is she ok?” “I better call her and check on her.” “I need to take her to lunch.” “What can I do to love her and help her?” These, and more, are all thoughts in my mind several times a day. She’s seems to be doing quite well. Amazingly well.

I am thankful for our strong family bond. I am so thankful that I know that he loves our family and that we love him. We saw him often, and tell each other all the time how much we love each other.

The times I struggle most are when I’m feeling sorry for me. I believe with all my heart that my Daddy is in a better place. He is happy and very busy doing great things and blessing others. Before he passed, he was uncomfortable and frustrated that he couldn’t do what he used to be able to do. He can do anything now. He is at peace and so are we because he lived a great life. His legacy is one of love, service, sacrifice, work, developing talents, faith in God, righteousness, and having fun while he did it all. At the very center of his life was his sweetheart, my Mama, and family. We will all be together in heaven some day.

I love him, and I’m so grateful he is my Daddy.

Getting Home.

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When I was around 8 years old, we lived in the country. We rode the bus to and from school. Us old people like to say, “When I was a kid, we walked up hill, both ways to school…in a blizzard.” It wasn’t quite that bad, but there were a few things that made getting to school, and then back home, (when I was a kid) more challenging than it is these days .

1-The bus stop was a mile from our home.

2-From kindergarten until 5th grade, girls weren’t allowed to wear pants to school. That is hard to believe now. I wore shorts under my dress, so I could play on the monkey bars, and sometimes I’d wear pants under my dress till I got to school then take them off.

3-When it snowed, it really snowed. It has changed, but we used to jump off our balcony into the snow that was not that far down. My legs would freeze on the way to the bus stop. Sometimes I had pants on, sometimes not.

4-Parents never worried about strangers stealing their kids, so none of the parents took their kids to school.

I have all kinds of stories about going to school and then coming home.

Let me tell you about the time there was a very big, scary, obstacle between the bus stop and home. Something that could prevent me from getting home, or so I thought. That big scary thing was also hairy. Our neighbors around the corner from our house had a dog…a St. Bernard. At one time, I felt pretty comfortable with the dog, until it bit me. It wasn’t a bad bite. It was more like a warning bite, that just meant don’t mess with me or I’ll eat you up. And for some reason, I didn’t tell anyone about it. But after that I was scared to death of the dog. This dog lived on the road I had to go on to get home; sometimes the dog was tied up, sometimes not. This was in the country, so I couldn’t just go an extra block and back track to make it home. On this one day, I just didn’t feel confident that I could make it past the house where the dog lived without having a problem. I decided that instead of going home the usual way, I would go behind the house where the dog lived and make my way through the field until I got past the house and then go back to the road. What a great idea, I thought. So I started around the back of the house, making sure not to get too close to the house in case the dog was out and he would see me. My main goal was to not have to pass the house on the road. Within a short time, I realized that the area behind their house was the biggest sticker patch you’ve ever seen.

On this day, I had worn my lace tights. They were my favorite.

When I finally made it past the house and back to the road, I realized my tights were ruined. I didn’t have a lot of nice things back then, so I was pretty devastated about the tights, but at least I was alive and didn’t get attacked.

I don’t know if my mom ever saw the ruined tights, because I hid them in the very back of a play cupboard that my grandpa had made me. If she saw them, she never said anything.

I’ve thought a lot about that experience, and how because I didn’t tell anyone about the dog, I faced it alone. I didn’t feel brave enough, or stupid enough, to go home the normal way, so I tried to make my way around the problem and ended up with another experience that I wasn’t very happy about either. What should I have done different? I know as a child I felt alone a lot. I actually was alone, a lot. I thought I had to work things out on my own. I should have told my parents about the dog bite. Then they could make sure the neighbor kept their dog tied up, or in the house. I must have told my parents about the dog after that experience, because I don’t remember worrying about him after that.

I wish I could tell that little girl a few things, like:

Don’t ever feel like you’re alone. There will always be someone to help.

Ask for help. And if you don’t get the help you need, ask someone else.

Be brave and go through the challenges you face. Don’t try to go around them. It may not help at all, and it may make things worse.

I’m grateful for all of the experiences I’ve had. I always learn something, and I think it helps me see it in others when they struggle. When I see it in others I can then tell them I understand. “You’re not alone”; “I’m here to help”; “You are very brave”; and “If you need help getting home, I’m here.”

Happy Anniversary!

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My Darlin and I have been married for 34 years.

I’m so grateful for him.

He is definitely a keeper.

Some of the things we’ve learned in the years we’ve been married are what keep us married. Being married is work. It is full of challenges, frustrations, complete happiness, disappointment, and feeling loved. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Things I’ve learned in 34 years:

  1. He means more to me now, because of all we’ve been through together. Never give up on your relationship. Going through tough times together, helps us grow closer.
  2. It’s best to lower your expectations. Seriously. It’s true you have to sometimes anticipate how a certain situation will happen in order to mentally prepare for it, but don’t have grandiose ideas. The way romantic movies show relationships is not real life. Guys don’t think like that, most the time.
  3. Sometimes we all make mistakes. One time my hubby bought a car without talking to me about it first. The reason is too much information to share in this post, and I may tell the story in a future post, but that was very difficult on our marriage, and we both learned some very important lesson’s. Make sure your feelings are heard and then forgive.
  4. Love him for who he is, and don’t try to change him. He shouldn’t want to try to change you either. If changes are made, we make them together by setting goals and working on doing our best, together.
  5. Appreciate his gifts, and talents. My darlin loves sports, and he is good at all sports. Me? Not so much, and I don’t enjoy them as much as he does. So I let him know if I want to do something different while he is enjoying what he loves. He does his thing, and I do mine.
  6. Compartments. Men have compartments. Little mental places saved for what they are doing at the moment. I learned this at a marriage conference we went to and it is one of the most helpful things I’ve ever learned. When he is at work, he is in his work compartment. So if I say to him, “Did you miss me/think about me today, at work?” The answer is, “No.” He was thinking about work. I’m ok with this, it makes sense to me. So I don’t ask. I feel happy he is doing his job and providing for us. When he’s with me, he is in the “Joy” compartment. Yes, he is thinking about me. I love it when he is thinking about me. I think about him many times throughout the day. That’s what women do, and that’s ok too.
  7. Physical touch is important, but not the most important. It is almost always more important to a man than a women. Knowing that, I love to be close to him, and I’m considerate about his needs. Because he loves me, he is considerate about my needs.
  8. When you get older, new challenges appear. We have been married for 34 years. My mom and dad have been married almost 64 years. Things you’ve never dealt with in your life together become part of the journey. My father-in-law had Alzheimer’s. I’m sure my mother-in-law had no idea she would have to learn how to love her sweetheart in a whole new way after 50 years of marriage. I admire older couples who love each other through thick and thin. Staying positive and having a sense of humor during the aging process is important.
  9. A sense of humor is very helpful. I really love to laugh. It’s a great core work out! When frustrating things happen in our day to day routines, try to see the humor. Sometimes it takes years for an experience to become funny, but they almost always do. Don’t be overly sensitive about experiences. “Let it go.” as the Disney movie says.
  10. Gratitude. Honestly gratitude is the best way to make it through almost anything. You don’t have to be rich to be grateful. God gives us little blessings everyday. When our “Most Quoted” son Alex was serving his LDS mission to South Africa we saw that life can be very difficult and there are still blessings all around. The children in the orphanages in Swaziland were some of the happiest children. I love gratitude so much, because no matter what is happening in your marriage and life, you can always choose to be grateful. It is an eternal gift given by Father in Heaven to choose. I choose to be grateful for a wonderful husband, and marriage. I know I’m blessed to have the opportunity to have a sweetheart and create a family. That is what life is about.

Bonus: The most important thing I’ve learned is that God wants our marriage to be successful. He is a part of our everyday. We ask Him to bless our marriage, and help us to be patient and loving, and happy together. If you include God in your marriage He will bless you. Ask yourself if how you treat your spouse is ok with Him. If it’s not, do better. If it is, continue on in your wonderful journey.

Happy Anniversary to the best man for me! I love you sweetie! Thanks for being my darlin!

Reunion Time!

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I have a dear friend named Julie.

She has been my best friend since high school. We have been friends for long enough that we have some pretty troubling and embarrassing stories of our time together. I am amazed we made it though some of them. I’m so thankful we did. She is a gem. So loyal, and generous, and fun!

We have had this friendship and history for years, before we both got married. Then we both got married the same year within a month of each other. Both of our husbands names are Brett. Only her hubby’s only has one “t”. We started having our children within a year of each other. Because we love each other and we like to be with each other, as our children were born, they became friends. The kids don’t quite match up as far as ages go, but each of our kids are very close to each other. We used to call them our chosen cousins.

Let me add here that she has lived 350 miles away from me since just after we both got married. You have to put a big effort in to stay best friends when you live far away from each other. Also, we used to write letters to each other, because it cost too much to call and talk. Now we have cell phones and communicating is easy.

Our children are all adults. Almost all of them are married. Most of the married ones are parents.

We haven’t had all our kids together for years. They are all so busy and when my darlin and I visit them, it’s usually just the two of us.

We told Natasha we were going to visit with our friends and have a reunion. She says, “Now how are we related to them?” Kelsey said, “We’re not.” Natasha said, “What!!! We’re not related to them?” Haha, we laughed and laughed. All this time she thought they were family. Well, they are! We chose them.

So we had a reunion this last week in a little town in central Utah named Marysvale. It is an old mining town. There are lots of trails for riding 4 wheelers and hiking. We had so much fun! All of our kids and their spouses and grandkids where there. Wow! We know how to multiply.

What a fun time we had! It was very crowded, noisy, and fun!

I love our chosen family. And my bestie Julie!

She Made Me A Grandma!

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Yes, 12 years ago a tiny baby was born. She was just over 3 pounds. When I was 45 years old, this tiny person made me a grandma. I really had no idea I was going to be a grandma at such a young age, but she did it and she has been such a blessing.

Natasha is a very tenacious. She has been from the start. I love to be around her. She is a happy, talkative, creative, young lady.

She has been through a lot of challenges in her life. I hope she knows how loved she is, and how strong she is and that even though life is hard sometimes she has the ability to keep her chin up, to focus on the good, and the blessings in life. I hope she always does her best in all she does, and never lets disappointments or failure drag her down.

She is a wonderful gift from Father in Heaven to our family. I am so grateful she made me a grandma, even though I thought I was too young to be a grandma. She has taught me so about the love that exists in this crazy world. More love than I ever thought was possible.

Happy Birthday, Beautiful, Sweet Natasha! I love you!

She Really is a Dream Come True.

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Today is Kelsey’s 30th Birthday.

It’s hard to believe.

I’ve talked about her birth and the great blessing she was to me. Today though I am reminded of the day I became her Mama. I grew up with 5 brothers, no sisters.

My first born was Riley whose bday was a couple of days ago. So hearing the news that our soon to be born baby was a girl was hard to believe. I am grateful for all the boys in my life and family, but it really made it hard for me to believe I was going to get to have a girl in my life, and especially in my family. I would get to see her, love her, dress her, do her hair, sew Easter dresses for her, and teach her all the fun girl things that I loved doing. At the birth of each of my little brothers, I prayed so hard for a little sister. I was blessed with these two little brothers who I wouldn’t trade.

So as the time got closer for Kelsey’s delivery, I got more and more excited! Until the day finally came, My Dream Come True was here!

She was perfect!

So many hopes and dreams wrapped up in a tiny little human. It has been such a blessing being her Mama. She really has been easy. She loved reading, still does. She would play in her room quietly for hours. Sometimes we’d have to ground her from her room, if she was ever in trouble, because she liked it there so much.

She was a good student. I never had to ask if she had homework, she just did it. She always wants to follow the rules. She wants everyone to follow the rules, and would give the other kids a hard time if they were not behaving.

So back to wanting a little sister- I have noticed through the years as Kelsey has grown up and I don’t have to parent her like I did when she was a child, that she has become like a little sister to some degree. She is really fun to tease, and she teases me too. She is fun to spend time with, shopping, binge watching shows, or just talking.

I’m so grateful for my little Dream Come True! The person she is as my beautiful daughter, and the fun to hang out with little sister too.

Oh, and by the way, she’s still pretty much perfect!

Tester Pancake/Most Improved

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Today is my oldest son’s birthday.

He is 33 years old.

That means I was just a youngster when I became his mother. Not as young as some, but too young to really grasp what I was getting into. I tended children all through my teen years. I knew how to kiss boo-boo’s, and sing the clean up song. I knew how to change diapers and feed a baby. What I found out was that there is so much more to being a parent than just caring for a child.

When I held Riley for the first time, I couldn’t speak. I just looked at him. As tears filled my eyes and ran down my cheeks, I thanked God for the privilege of being his Mama. I remember thinking I don’t know how to do this, but I am excited and happy to try. I’ve never felt love like that -before that moment.

Within the first few weeks, I felt a little more confident, but really you never know what you’re doing. That’s what I think, and that’s how I felt. Riley’s dad and I mostly just did the best we could with the knowledge and experience we had.

Our baby Emily, has always referred to Riley as our “Tester Pancake“. In case you don’t know what that is, it’s the first pancake you make that usually turns out not the best. It may have a weird shape, or you make the mistake of turning it too soon. It might get burned because the pan is too hot, etc. We all laugh at the nick name, but it is true that we made mistakes with our first born. So. Many. If I think about it too long I get a little sad, but I feel peace when I think somehow he turned out great! In fact he is amazing!!

One day we were talking with our adult kids and Riley said he was such a good kid. He felt he had never given us any trouble, and was an easy child to raise. I think he actually said, “I’m probably your best kid!” We all laughed! Ummm. No! Then he followed it up with, “Well, I’m definitely your Most Improved Kid!”

That is a fact! When I think about all that he has experienced, some things I don’t even know about, but some I do, I am so proud of the man he has become. For him to be our first, our Tester Pancake, and turn out to be our Most Improved, it says a lot about him as a person. About his ability to bounce back after challenges, his desire to always improve, and the way he has figured out how best to go through this life and be a success.

I love you, Son. Thank you for your patience with your Mama, (and Daddy) and for always trying to do better! oxoxo

A New Granddaughter!

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We have been blessed to be grandparents. I am so grateful to have little ones to love, and spoil, and then send them home.

Our sweet new granddaughter is here!

What a doll. She is so sweet and beautiful.

I truly believe the reason I love being a grandparent is because I was first a parent.

That may sound obvious, but it really is a “grand” plan. You become a parent, you love these children more than anything. It is the hardest thing you’ve ever done. They drive you nuts, they want/need something at the most inconvenient times. They challenge you. They make you proud.

They basically wear you out! They fill you will more love than you ever thought was possible. .

They grow up, and you’re amazed at all they accomplish in their lives, and the way they do it.

Then….you get to love their kids! And because they love their children more than anything else, you don’t have to worry about them. It’s the love and spending time without all the worry. As I say that I realize that’s not completely true. You do worry about them, but not as much as you did your own kids, because you know their parents will do most the worrying.

I am so grateful for this sweet, new little one to love. I’m so proud of her parents for being parents.

It really is a “grand” plan!

2018 Highlights Pt.2

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August

We attended the 2018 Transplant Games of America in Salt Lake City. My parents look so cute in their shirts. My miracle brother, Keith received a liver transplant from a donor. It is a wonderful gift that made it possible for my brother to still be with us after 11 years.

We had our 33rd anniversary. Spent most of the day with our grandbaby, Willow. We went to Salt Lake City and walked around the Salt Lake Temple where we were married. And ended up in Park City where we had our honeymoon.

We stopped at a place I consider to be very peaceful and relaxing. It is the Glenwood Cemetery in Park City. We spent a little time there after we dropped Willow off to her Mama.

We went out to dinner, talked about the years we’ve been married, and set some goals, then went home.

It was a great day!

September

Our cute grandson started soccer. If you haven’t see 4 years olds play soccer, you need to. They are so cute and fun to watch!

Julian kept insisting the little blonde guy was a girl. He didn’t quite understand why he would have long hair.

My parents celebrated their 63rd anniversary. They are amazing. I’m so happy they’re here with us still and we enjoy our Sundays with them. They love each other more than ever.

November

Our oldest son and his wonderful wife announced that they were expecting a new baby in May of 2019. Yay!!!

Natasha spent the night and had some grandparent time with us. I don’t see her as much as I’d like, but we make the most of the time we have. She is such a wonderful, sweet, girl.

My best friend Lilli took me out to lunch for my bday. She is a gift. I am so blessed to have such a friend. Blog post coming on a future date.

December

We celebrated the Winter Solstice with our good friends Sydney and Chad, and their cute son, Parker, and our families! Dark days are hard, but more light is coming. I struggle a lot with the dark winter days, but knowing that brighter days are coming keeps me focused. Years ago, when I taught Parker in primary, I asked the kids what we celebrate during this time of year. I expected them to say, “Christmas!”. Parker said, “Well, you could celebrate the Winter Solstice.” I have celebrated the Winter Solstice every year since then. By the way Parker is 16 years old, now.

2018 was a great year!