Mama

Photo Credit-Larry Hanson

She is a wonderful Mama. She is my friend. I’m grateful she is mine.

These are a few of the things that make my Mom the great gal she is.

She grew up with a Mama and a Daddy and one sister. She learned a lot growing up. Her Daddy was a hard worker, but also an alcoholic. He joined AA when she was 16. She learned respect. Her Mama was a saint, and taught her how to love and be kind. Her sister was spunky and a tease. This taught her patience. She was a good student graduating a year early. She was a good worker, having jobs that were important like a telephone operator. If you don’t know what that is ask someone older than 30.

She is motivated and has gotten a lot accomplished and has done her whole life. She raised 6 kids, then went to college and received a degree in early childhood education. She taught pre-school, Head Start, and an after school program for latch key kids called CARES.

She has been a student of history all her life, having lived for 89 years. She was born during the Depression. She remembers when Pearl Harbor was attacked. Because of her, I love history. She loves teaching even now, she is very wise. A funny thing she says after she’s had an opportunity to teach is, “I’m such a good teacher!” I usually laugh and say, “Yes, you are!” She enjoys teaching too. She teaches Family History Classes, lessons at Church, Group lessons at the place she lives.

She is healthy and comes from good stock, as they say. She once fell down 24 cement stairs and didn’t break any bones. She was 84 years old when this happened. She and my Daddy were in Slovenia traveling and having so much fun with my little brother and his wife, and her parents. What a miracle!

She is very spiritual. She reads her scriptures everyday. She prays and wants to do what God would have her do in life. She doesn’t let the challenges in life bring her down. Some people would call that grounded. Her perspective is always eternal. She lost her sweetheart and love, 2 years ago and doesn’t feel sad all the time. She knows she’ll see him again, and that they will be together forever.

She likes to be by herself. When I was young this bothered me. I wanted her to want to spend time with me. I am the only daughter. I thought we should be shopping or something. At this point in our lives, I’m ok with my Mama not wanting to be with me too much. She’s taught me that to be by myself is a good place. She’s taught me that she is who she is and we don’t always have the same feelings or ideas, and that’s ok too.

Family is very important to her. She loves the ones who came before, and she loves the ones who are living now. She has taught me to love all of these people too. For 30 + years my Mom would have Sunday dinner for the whole family at their home. This was amazing to me. The meal alone is expensive. For many years, my Mom didn’t even have a dish washer. She would hand wash all those dishes Monday morning. We still get together, though not always at her place and not every week. Because she taught me to love my ancestors I have been blessed to know I’ll never alone. They are always there, with their example, their story, their ability to live life even when it was hard. I am connected to them and I love them so much.

Yes, she is a wonderful Mama. She is such a blessing and I’m filled with gratitude to God for blessing me with the perfect parents, and today I’m especially grateful for my sweet Mama!

Leaving Home is Tough.

I’m not sure why, but I have a really hard time leaving. You could call it a phobia. Maybe it’s because I’m a homebody and spend most of my time at home. So on the rare occasion that I get the opportunity to leave for a period of time, or go on a fun trip, I have a really hard time leaving. My eyes fill up with tears and I feel incredible sorrow and concern-wondering how things will go, when I’ll make it back or if I’ll make it back.

I had someone tell me once- while helping me work through some of the challenges I was dealing with, that they felt or had an impression that when it was time to come to earth and leave my heavenly home, I didn’t want to leave there either. That doesn’t surprise me! and I believe it. I’m sure I knew, as much as one can know, that life would be hard and have challenges and I loved being with Father in heaven and others there that I love. And maybe that’s part of it. Time with those I love is at the top of my list of favorites. It might be a little bit codependent…I’ve always believed I need them, maybe more than they need me.

It might have to do with control and trust. When I leave home, I hope the car works good, that we make it to our destination without being stuck in the middle of nowhere. I hope we don’t have a wreck. When flying, I hope the pilot is a good one. I usually kiss the plane with my hand on the way in and pray for the pilot. But, I’m not in charge, I have to trust others to help me get to my destination. (Not that I could fly a plane, or that I want to do it)

When I talk to others about this phobia about leaving they are very surprised that I have such a hard time. While talking about it with my brother and sister in law one time we came to the conclusion that part of the problem is that I rarely leave. My sister in law travels all the time for work. These family members travel a lot for fun and have been many places in the world. They have no problem leaving.

Maybe” practice makes perfect!”

The thing is I don’t need to leave home. I am homemaker and I love to be here and we really can’t afford to travel much. So for now, leaving may have to continue to be tough. I feel like it has improved through the years. I may even have a tough time leaving this experience called life when the time comes, even though I know there is family and loved ones on the other side waiting to see me after my time here is done. I will just keep doing my best and leaving when I get the chance to travel and visit and see the world.