When we lived in the Little Farm House, while Daddy was building the A frame house, all of us kids were in the same room. The big brothers shared a big bed, and I slept on a little Amy cot, Grant who was a baby was in a crib.

One night I was just about asleep, somewhere between awake and dreamland I thought I saw an intruder with a gun. In the room next to where we slept I could see a shadow that looked like someone standing and pointing a gun. I was around six years old, and it wasn’t like it is now with TV and movies where we see acts of violence almost daily. I don’t remember ever seeing a TV show or movie that had guns, except maybe a western. So I watched, this shadow that looked like a gun in someones hand, scared to death for what seemed like quite a while and then finally fell asleep.

The next morning I was surprised when I woke up that I was alive and so was the whole family. It was a normal morning with everyone getting ready for the day. I looked around in the area where the intruder was the night before and saw a stack of books. I laid on my bed and looked out the doorway as if I in bed the night before and realized that the stack of books were positioned in such a way that it could have looked like a gun in the dark, with the light from the street behind them.

Wow! What a dramatic child. I must have been a worrier even back then. So the lesson I learned was not to worry about something that could have a simple explanation, check to see what it is.

Another time I had trouble sleeping was when I was a little older and heard a familiar prayer/poem.

Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep. If I should die before I wake I pray the Lord my soul to take.

For some reason this poem really scared me. I thought, “Can I really die, when I fall to sleep?” So for months I worried and tried to stay awake at bedtime trying to avoid dying. I don’t know why I never talked to my parents about this, but I dealt with a lot of scary/hard things by myself. Later I talked to others who had a similar feeling about that same prayer/poem. Then I started seeing a change in the words.

Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep. Guard me Jesus, through the night, and wake me with the morning light.

I’m sure there were other children scared by the original words or they wouldn’t have changed.

So recently my Mama responded to a request by my daughter to write about what she would tell her younger self if she could, about life and her advice in making decisions. An interesting thing she wrote in her story was how the prayer/poem that I first quoted comforted her and helped her feel safe and loved. Wow,…again! I was so surprised that something that scared me half to death was a comfort to her. If you knew us both it probably wouldn’t surprise you, because I’m a worrier and she’s as calm and steady as can be. Isn’t it interesting to see how different we are even with the same DNA.

One thing I wish I’d known or thought of or had done, was to talk to my parents. They are wonderful people and have always been. I just worried so much as a child and a lot of the time I just worked through it on my own, never asking for advice or counsel. Maybe that’s something just certain personality types go through. I know because I was a worrier, I tried to be aware of things that might be concerning to my kids when they were little. I would try to protect or help them through emotional challenges, just like making them wear shoes when they played outside, because I didn’t wear mine and got hurt on my feet. I didn’t want them to go through the things that I went through. I know you can’t always protect your kids from sorrow in life, but if I had talked to my parents when I had trouble sleeping, it wouldn’t even have been an issue.